Saturday, February 28, 2009
because i wish i was so much more important to you,so i can't stop the tears.
it's tiring to hafta be your superwoman all the time.
Foolish.
2:25 PM
she writes
Thursday, February 26, 2009
please don't let anything happen to her,please.
i would do anything,
anything just to trade places.
pray for me.
Breathe Slow.
1:18 AM
she writes
Monday, February 23, 2009
i'm upset;stupid expectations.
but still,
i can't deny;
"i miss you,
the you a very long time ago."
i desperately needa club.
i desperatey needa getaway.
It's Because I Love You.
10:23 PM
she writes
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
depressed.wish i can just die now.
"i wanna be a good girlfriend;
not a good girlfriend to just anyone,
but i good girlfriend to you.
still,
i keep failing terribly."
just wanna retreat back into that shell of mine;
where i don't hafta see or talk to anyone.
死结.
12:25 AM
she writes
Monday, February 16, 2009
bbf's having his first paper now,can't help feeling nervous for him too.
but i'm sure after so many days of intensive revision,
he's gonna do just fine.
:]
"good luck and jiayou bbf!
you're gonna make it for sure!
i have confidence in you!
muacks!"
Can't Do Without.
4:00 PM
she writes
Sunday, February 15, 2009
it's so much worst to have a boyfriend but not being able to have him around with you on valentine's day,than not having a boyfriend at all to spend valentine's day with.
that prolly sums up my entire valentine's day,
and explains why it was the worst i ever had.
:[
but bbf isn't like completely to blame,
though it's still partly his fault.
"but for the sweetest valentine's day message which i got, you're forgiven. i love you. :]"
my day could have been much worse if it wasn't for darling;
who cancelled her date just to keep me company.
that's why i totally love her to bits.
"thankyou darling! :]"
Through The Good And Bad.
11:05 PM
she writes
Thursday, February 12, 2009
life's kinda crapped up for me at this juncture.school's totally hectic.
starting from the following week,
i have like mid-term tests or assignments due or both,
every other week for consecutively 6 weeks.
to make things worse,
mid-term tests are no longer like easy peasy 1 hour mcq papers;
they are like 3 hours long exam format papers with weightage equivalent to final exams.
and assignments are like either case studies;
which i completely not understand even after reading through them 3 times,
or like few thousand words report;
which you hafta include at least 10 references with loads of restrictions on the kinda resources that can be classified as references.
oh yah,
and did i mention that my organisational theory lecturer is like a complete psychopathic baldy?
things at home ain't looking too good as well;
between my parents and me.
they're like super unreasonable!
faced with all the stressed in school,
i just wanna be able to hang out with my friends;
have fun and de-stress.
though it's true that i usually hang out till late,
but it's not as though i'm letting these late nights affect my studies;
i attend all my lessons and i don't sleep during classes,
i prepare for all my tests and hand up my projects on time,
i don't let my grades slip.
it's not as if i'm hanging out with indecent friends at indecent places as well;
i'm usually with the shang gang who they have mostly met or hear me talked about,
and we usually just go out for movies, suppers or games.
the reason why we hafta hang out at night is because we all have our own commitments during the day;
either with work or with school.
but they just don't seems to understand!
they scold me for coming back late every day,
when i don't go out every day.
they tell me to be more mature in my behaviour as i get older,
when i feel that i'm old enough to know and be responsible for what i'm doing.
and remind me not to waste their hard earned money which they pay my school fees with,
as if me graduating with a degree is only important to them than to me.
i can bet with my life that they won't nag at me to go out if i stayed home the entire week,
yet i hear them nagging so much when i'm out,
and it's not even every day!
they just don't realise that by doing what they're doing,
they're just making me wanna stay away from home more than usual.
cause the more i am restricted,
the more i'll try to break free.
this is just the way i am.
there's like loads of personal things bothering me too.
not in terms of my relationship,
cause douglas has been treating me prettay well.
just like
after like an extremely long day of revision in school;
i bet he's already like super tired,
and he could have just gone home and rest,
but yet he headed down to tingsin's shop just to be with me.
knowing all the horrible things that i'm going through,
he put up with all my cranky-ness,
and tries to be there as much as he can;
keeping me company when time allows,
encouraging me when i feel deflated,
wiping off my tears when i start to cry,
and advising me when i'm completely lost.
though there are times that i still complain about him,
but i know sometimes it's like not his fault,
cause most guys are borned blind to small details that we girls find really important.
furthermore,
i know he's trying really hard.
and for this,
i'm officially promoting him from MLBF (my lousy boyfriend) to BBF (best boyfriend).
so to BBF -
"thankyou, for simply just being part of my life. i love you.'
back to the personal problems that i'm facing,
it's mostly about friends.
not that i'm having conflicts with any of them,
just that some friends have been falling sick very often lately,
some facing relationship problems,
and some just simply refuse to tell me what's bothering them.
and all these,
makes me really worried.
so to all my darlings -
"you are all really important to me. and it makes me worried and upset to see you all like that, not knowing what i can do to help as well. so please, at the very least, let me be there as much as i can. there's no such things as 'now that you're attached, i really don't wanna be bothering you.' i'll be like really disappointed to hear this cause it only reflects what kinda a friend i am in your eyes. please promise to take really good care of yourselves as well. i'm really sorry if i haven been a good enough friend."
i just want everyone to be happy.
Heartfelt.
4:00 AM
she writes
Monday, February 09, 2009
'but i needed you just as much.', i wanted to reply.but as always,
i paused, and swallowed it all back.
i know it's ridiculous and selfish.
but yes,
i'm crying;
real hard.
i wish i was less vulnerable.
i wish i was less emotional.
"that's you.", you said.
but do you like the me like this?
Don't Want To.
3:04 AM
she writes
Sunday, February 01, 2009
it's already like the past, and i know i shouldn't be;but still, i'm jealous.
:[
"happy 37 months anniversary my dear.
love you."
Crazy Over You.
9:32 AM
she writes
