t h e d a y m y w o r l d t u r n e d g r e y

Thursday, April 27, 2006

happy 19th birthday xiuwen!
"thanks for being such a superb captain! seriously. if it wasn't for all ya constant encouragements. i wouldn't have improved to the kinda standard i am today. although i'm still not like a super fantastic player. but i really do see the improvement in myself. thanks for not giving up on me despite the countless absence from trainings. happy birthday once again! hope you really enjoyed yaself on this special day! all the best to you and nike boy! :) your fantastic team loves you! hugs!"

i'm feeling kinda upset.
about loads of stuff.
feel so helpless towards everything.
sigh.

looking at this me feel so much better.
don't you think so?
haha.

More Than You Know.

10:42 AM

she writes

Saturday, April 22, 2006

we didn't lose because we weren't good enough.
we lost because we weren't confident enough.

"my dear girls. it's not the end. so continue to believe in yourselves. we can do it! we're gonna battle as a team till the very end. no matter what happens."

on our way to kallang this afternoon, xiuwen told me, "worrying is just like a rocking chair. although it keeps you moving. but it brings you no where."
i'll always keep this in mind.
"thanks a lot my dear."

if only i had one wish.
i'll wish for another chance to re-live today.

Faith.

1:21 PM

she writes

Friday, April 21, 2006

tomorrow's our very first game for this year's nationals. and we're going against njc. so super nervous! this match is really really crucial to us. if we manage to sail through this one. i guess we'll most probably be in the second round.

"hey girls! tomorrow is the start of the nationals that we've been preaparing for the past one year. or even more. all the effort and time we've put in. the sweat and tears that we've shed. is all meant for this nationals. so let's not let all these go to waste! let's all put in our 100%. whether it's inside or outside court. or be it we're playing or cheering on one another. we're gonna do our very best! jia you girls! have confidence in yourselves! we can do it! jia you! hug."

if you're interested. support is definitely welcome and deeply appreciated! :) we'll be playing at 3:20pm at the kallang netball centre. thank you in advance! -.-" i feel as though i'm doing a commercial.

oh gosh!
i'm freaking nervous!
please pray for me!

And It Might Have Been There. From The Start.

12:39 PM

she writes

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

i'm having a viral throat infection which is causing me to have a high fever. :( my temperature reached 39.3 degrees last night. :( and therefore, because of this, i'm granted 2 days mc for today and tomorrow to rest at home. usually, no school will means good news to me. but it is actually bad news for me this time round. cause we're having training today evening. and i really wanna go. i tried persuading mummy to let me go for training later. but her answer is still "no. no. no." :(

every training is really really important to me now. cause every training is a chance for me to improve myself further. our first game for nationals is this friday. and we'll playing against njc. i know how much this nationals means to everyone in the team. therefore, i really don't want to disappoint my team mates. i really don't wanna let my lousy performance be the cause of our defeat in any of the games. i wanna be able to give my best performance in every match. and i'm sure i will! i'm sure we all will! :)
"jia you my dear girls! i'm sure we're gonna make it! we're gonna smoothly sail into top 4 this year! jia you! :)"

the unspoken words.
the indescribable hurt.
the uncontrollable tears.
all i know is,
in my heart,
you'll never be replaced.
you can never be replaced.

i wish i could go back to being a kid again.
carefree, naive and innocent.

i feel myself retreating back into that shell of mine again.

Sarang Hae.

4:41 AM

she writes

Friday, April 14, 2006

me: "grant. tomorrow's a public holiday you know? cause it's good friday."
grant: "no! tomorrow's naughty friday!"

haha! it just shows how limited are kids' understanding of words doesn't it? but this precious little one just never fails to make my day. :)

"no matter how much i try to let it not affect me.
i can still feel the stab in my heart.
but i still sincerely wish that you'll find the happiness which truly belongs to you.
yi ding yao xing fu kuai le.
yao hao hao zhen xi ta. :)"

Just The Way It Is.

1:32 PM

she writes

Friday, April 07, 2006

i'm starting to hate girls who are 13! hmmm. that seems like too strong a word to use. okay. let me start all over again. i'm starting to strongly detest girls who are 13! or 12 turning 13! whatever! but now with a change of word usage. it seems to be an understatement.

i don't know. they're so immature! okay. i should make another correction here. i guess it'll be more appropriate if i say; she's so immature! not only that. she's so damn bimbotic and bitchy, which spells B-I-M-B-O-T-I-C and B-I-T-C-H-Y! and she just seems so oblivious about herself! when i look at her. all i see is a ball of cellulite. i know it's a really mean comment to make. but i seriously can't figure out how she can look into the mirror and find herself staring at a pretty and hot lady?! oh no. so sorry. another mistake of mine. i think i should be using gal instead of lady. and i can infer that she's definitely an imaginative person. cause she seems to be able to always comes up with images of loads of guys going after her! okay. fine. even if she's not exactly a ball of cellulite. which i swear she is! i don't think she's that hot either that there'll be like 7 guys going after her all at the same time!

please don't get me wrong. it's definitely not miss jealousy who's writing this post. i'm just trying to prove a case of a 'confused' teenager. and i believe there's rising numbers of such cases in singapore. results of rapid globalisation i suppose. hmmm. not much of a connection. but. whatever!

okay.

look who's being bitchy and immature.

fine.

i shall mind my own business.

oh gosh!
i can't believe i just dedicated an entire post to her!

Looking Back In Time.

2:31 PM

she writes

Thursday, April 06, 2006

mummy seems to be having the idea of sending me to switzerland after my a's to study for my degree in hotel management. this has always been my dream. but yet i wasn't happy at all when she broke the news to me yesterday. hmmm. i don't know. i guess it just feels so different when everything is just your dream and when you know this dream is about to come true. i know it's seriously a rare chance to come by. but. i guess i'm just too emotionally attached to leave this place. sigh. i really don't know.

i have always been waiting.
before i met you,
i've been waiting for your appearance.
after i met you,
i've been waiting for the chance to know you.
after we became friends,
i've been waiting for you to pop that question.
now that we're an item,
i'm still waiting.
and i'll always be waiting.
but will you always come back for me?

"everything around me seems to be constantly reminding me of the two of you.
everything.

i really miss the two of you.
so so much.

since the day i lost you two,
i know i'll never ever be able to feel real happiness again.
i feel so empty without the two of you.

i love the both of you.
my little darling angels."

All My Life. I've Been Waiting For Someone Like You.

1:53 PM

she writes

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

when i stepped outta the house, i told myself i gotta stay strong no matter what. but once i entered that place. the strong front that i've been putting on just crumbles. and everything came rushing back to me.

i saw them again today.
but what i saw was them then.
i wonder how they look like now.

"i guess i'll never ever be able to forgive myself for leaving the two of you there.
i really wish i could back and bring the two of you back to me.
but i guess that's never gonna be possible.
i'm sorry.
i love you two.
loads."

Losing It All.

9:29 AM

she writes

Monday, April 03, 2006

sigh. i feel so unmotivated to go for training now. :( it's like. i feel so redundant there. coach is not training me at all. it's like even if i happen to get into the team. and if he happen to substitute me into the game. i wouldn't really know what to do. then i'll cause the team to lose again. hai. :(

really thanks to my encouraging team mates. especially people like peishan, siqi, yuzhen and sheryl.
"thanks a million for ya encouragement girls! hugs!"

enough about the unhappy stuff. shall talk about the happy stuff now.

yesterday was our 3rd month! :)
"happy 3rd month my boy! muacks!"

guess what i've got as my 3rd month pressie.

ta da! a roxy water bottle! :) pretty pretty!
"thanks a lot my boy! totally love it! :)"

we went to town in the evening. our first stop was heeren. to take photos! :)

had dinner at pepper lunch. it's our first time there. not a bad place to dine. especially if you don't know how to cook. it's a good place to start. helps to cultivate self satisfaction! haha! :)

walked around taka after dinner. went to mango to look for the black tube top i saw in female magazine. but it was no where to be found. :( but never mind. even if i were to see it. i can't get it either. that will make me feel so much worse. wouldn't it? so i guess i should be glad i didn't manage to find it. haha. maybe this is what we call self consolation. haha!

i finally ate durian puffs yesterday! yea! it's been ages since i ate durain puffs. and i've been craving for it for a long long time. we walked past a store in taka which sells durian pastries. i simply took a very quick glance at the durian puffs and walked off. was considering whether i should get some. and douglas bought 4 for me! before i even spoke a word! haha! is this what you call telepathy?! haha! :)

we sat down at the fountain and started to attack the first durian puff. i sank my teeth into the puff and realised it was as frozen as a block of ice. so douglas tried to 'thaw' it for me. and this is how he look while he was 'thawing' it. haha!

took a few pictures as well while we were sitting at the fountain. :)

went back to westmall for our movie which was at 11. we watched ice age 2. erm. i fell asleep half way through the show. so couldn't give you all a review about the show. but i definitely didn't fall asleep because the show was too boring. guess it was the torturous training in the morning that made me so tired.

took a stroll back home after the show. it always feels good to take a stroll at night. especially when you have your special someone walking right beside you. :)

a picture of our shadows which we took while walking back. :) quite cool huh? :)

as for today. accompany douglas to get his hair cut. haha! i think he look like even more like an ah beng with his new hair. should post a picture of his new hair if i have the chance. haha!

sunday is strawberry fondue and shi lin chicken day! so yummy! :)

"i know you've probably heard this a million times. but still i gotta say. thanks a million for everything my boy! muacks! love ya!"

You Filled My Every Day With Laughter.

1:05 PM

she writes