Sunday, July 31, 2005
I feel an invisible wall building between us. I wonder if you feel it too. Sigh.
Now I know. You will really never understand how someone else feels until you're in their shoes.
Vulnerable.
2:35 PM
she writes
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Maths test today was horrible! Not only was it tough, but to make things worse, I mixed up all the formulas too! Bwwaahh! Forget it!
Met Weihan after school at Lot 1 for lunch. We ate at Food Junction then walked around. He bought me sweets! Haha! So nice of him! And we got a "free goodie" because of the sweets! Wahahaha!
"Hey rock! Thanx a lot for ya company! Thanx for tolerating my whinings too! Oh yah! Not forgeting about the sweets! Thanx a lot! Haha!" Went back to school for training. Sigh. Don't really wish to go into details. But I think I should seriously say thanx to Sheryl. Although I know she wouldn't get to see this, but still I must say.
"Thanx a lot girl!"I met this really really cute little baby girl on my bus ride home! She looks a little younger than Grant. And she's really adorable! Chubby, fair and all! Not only that, she's really funny too! Wahahaha! When she saw me looking at her, she made a funny face at me and I imitated her. Then she made another funny face and I imitated her again. And then she just keeps continuing making loads of funny facial expression wanting me to imitate her! Wahahaha! So super duper cute right?! She even said and waved bye bye to me when I was getting down the bus! Awwww... So sweet right?! She totally made my day!
Sigh. Experiencing all kinda emotions now. But sadly, all the emotions which are going through me is anything but happy. I really wish you're around. And you too. I sincerely hope that you two will still know I'm talking about you even without naming the both of you. But maybe that kinda communication without words no longer exist. Cause I guess, nothing's gonna ever be the same between us like how it used to be. Right? But whatever it is. You know what?
I surrender to my fate. Nothing Else Matters Like You Do.
2:52 PM
she writes
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
The guys in my class totally suck! Feel like giving each of them 2 tight slaps across their cheeks! Hope they all choke to death while they're eating!
I'm all evil and whiny today. But I really don't give a damn! So freaking pissed! Damn irritating! Raaaawwwrrrrr!
I Lost My Mind.
6:11 AM
she writes
Monday, July 25, 2005
So bored! I stayed at home the entire weekend! So super no life! Omg! But fortunately, I'm not turning into a nerd. Cause these two days, I practically slacked my life away. Should have just went out instead! Raawwrr!
Had training on Friday. So disappointed in myself. Hai. My performance totally sucks! I keep making the same kinda mistakes every training, over and over again. And my shooting sucks too. Why am I not improving?!
Passed by the school's dance studio after training that day. Saw the dancers practising. Suddenly have the urge to go into the studio and join them. Haha! I actually miss dancing! Can you believe?! I can't! Haha!
Even The Stars Refuse To Shine.
11:46 AM
she writes
Friday, July 22, 2005
It's the first time I really feel exhuastion crawling over me.
I wish I could stop go to school. Stop doing any more tutorials, project work or any other crap. Stop going for training. Stop thinking of anything. Just stay in bed all day.
With you by my side.Really wish you could stay. Hai.
Feel so alone.
I Saw Your Face. In A Crowded Place. And I Don't Know What To Do. Cause I'll Never Be With You.
12:14 PM
she writes
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Haven't been blogging for quite a while. Shall blog about interesting things that happened for the past one week. But to be frank, the only interesting day that I had for the past one week was last Saturday. How pathetic. I feel as though I've got no life. Ahhh.
Went to the Jurong Reptile Garden the last Saturday with Joyce and Tammie to get our project work interview done. We interviewed Mr Ramzi, I suppose we can call him the "garden-keeper". He didn't look too enthusiatic about the interview at first. But things got better after a while. He even became very nice after a while. He filled us in with loads of information about iguanas. He even went into the bushes and took photos of baby iguanas to show us. He also let us hold the baby iguana as well as the big one. But I only held the baby one cause the big one look kinda scary. But at least I'm better than Tammie! Haha! Who didn't even dare to hold the baby one. Haha! Even though it was supposed to be chameleons that our group supposed to be looking at, and not iguanas, but there isn't chameleons around anymore. Still, I felt that our trip was rather fruitful. Not only did we get our interview done, but we also learnt loads of other things, and saw many other reptiles like crocodile, snakes and giant turtles. Haha! Didn't know my project work topic could we so interesting. Haha! It's pretty sad that they're closing down.
We left the reptile garden at about 12 plus and headed for Jurong Point for lunch. Was half way through my 2 piece chicken meal when I remembered that I didn't wash my hands after holding the baby iguana! Haha! But judging from the fact that I'm still perfectly fine and typing away here on my computer, so I shall just assume that the baby iguana is perfectly clean!
Had my Economics essay test today. So gonna fail. Was praying hard that survival of small firms wouldn't come out. But it still came out in the second part of the question. I only managed to finish the first part of the question. But I'm sure I totally wrote crap. Didn't really know how to answer the second part of the question. And when I finally figured out what to write, there was no time left. So I only managed to write 2 paragraphs. How pathetic.
I finished reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. My sister bought it for me! So nice of her right?!
(Note: For the people who haven't read the book and don't wanna find out what happened, please skip the rest of the paragraph) I still can't believe that Dumbledore died! And guess who's the murderer! Snape! Oh yah! I can't believe that Harry and Ginny got together and broke up within 7 chapters! So sad! It's like they finally got togther! I'm sounding like a crazy Harry Potter fan. Haha! But I'm not. I just really enjoy reading the books. I think the story really interesting and exciting. I highly recommend those who never read Harry Potter to read it.
Feel like heading to town this Saturday. I wanna go shopping! I wanna splurge! But guess I have to give up the idea. Firstly, because there's so many things I wanna complete over the weekend. Like my half done Chemistry tutorials, my current Maths tutorial which I haven't touched at all, as well as the first 3 months Maths tutorials. Secondly, I'm saving up for Tepang's and Jessica's birthday. So there's no way that I can go shopping. Not to say splurge. Hmmm. Looks like I gotten abandon the idea and stay at home instead.
I Somehow Find You And I Collide.
11:41 AM
she writes
Thursday, July 14, 2005
There seems to be no suitable word to describe how I'm feeling. Upset? Pathetic? Miserable? I guess it's far worse than any of these words can describe. Sigh.
37.6 degrees. Looks like my fever's coming up again.
"If you take a good look at me, you'll see how much you've hurt me. But I guess you'll never find out. Cause you just don't bother. All I ask for is for you to care.I wish you never came into my life. But at the same time, I don't seems to be able to let you go. Cause it's only you I love. It's only you I love."
Here Comes The Rain Again. Falling From The Stars.
10:59 AM
she writes
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Presenting my new blog song!
Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader.
Decided to change the genre of my blog songs. No particular reason. Just kinda stuck to cheesy songs recently. And I thought this song is rather cheesy and really nice!
"Dancing in the moonlight. Everybody's feeling warm and bright. It's such a fine and natural sight. Everybody's dancing in the moonlight. ... ...."
Supernatural Delight.
12:27 PM
she writes
Have been sick for 5 days. The first 2 days wasn't so bad. Just like flu and sore throat. But on Saturday, I started getting feverish and the flu got really bad too. So I stayed at home today cause my fever just wouldn't subside.
It's only the 3rd week since school reopened, and I've already missed school twice! So super guilty! Can you imagine how many lectures and lessons I've missed! Omg! Don't wanna think about it.
Didn't sleep well last night. Have been tossing and turning in bed. So I decided to give up trying to get to sleep and get up to get some work done. Hopefully I'll be able to spend my time wisely today and get as many things done as possible.
Anyway, the happenings for the past few days.
8 July 2005 - Friday
Met Jessica and Wanmei for dinner at Bukit Panjang Plaza after training. I ate so much I almost burst! Haha! But it was good to be able to see them. Like always. Wanmei wasn't feeling too good that day. Hope she's okay now.
"Ah mei! Take care okay? *hug*" Jessica asked me if I thought of what to get for Tepang on his birthday yet. To think of it, his birthday is less than a month away! And I still haven't thought of what to buy yet. =/ I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Kok Ann's, Kenny's and Tepang's birthday falls on the same day! So cool right?! Haha! Kok Ann's turning 19, Kenny's turning 18, and Tepang's turning 17! Haha! Amazing right?!
9 July 2005 - Saturday
Went to watch War of the Worlds with Jessica, Xiaoli, Joyce, Germaine, Jingyi, Ruohan, Shirong and Tepang at Causeway Point. The show was great! But the ending was a little stupid and abrupt. Tepang didn't wanna go initially. Cause he thought that it'll be very weird for him to go. But he still went eventually. So touched!
"Thanks! *hugs*"10 July 2005 - Sunday
Was suppose to go sun tanning with Tammie at Sentosa. But in the end, there was a change in day for my tuition. So we didn't hit the beach as planned. Felt so super guilty! Cause Tammie was like really looking forward to go sun tanning!
"So so so sorry! *hugs* We'll go this saturday okay?" Anyway, got Joyce (my tutor) to teach me AP, GP and summation. AP and GP is like so super difficult! Just can't seems to get a hand of it!
Before I end, I really wanna thank God for blessing me with friends. Thank God for wonderful people like Jessica, Wanmei, Suxian, Liling, Shih Wen, the 406 clique, 05A42, as well as the new friends I've made like Xiaoli, Tammie, Jessica, Germaine and Ruohan.
Life's Wonderful If You Count Your Blessings.
12:23 AM
she writes
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Screwed up my Chemistry SPA. Again. I don't understand. Why do I always screw up my practicals! Can't I just do it right for once! Sigh. Feel so demoralised. Tried to brush up on my calculations. But in the end. Sigh. Whatever. It's over.
So gonna fail my Economics test too. Sigh. Must adjust myself to get use to the downward trend on my grades so I probably wouldn't be so upset if I fail my promos. It's kinda confirmed that promos will probably be the first week of term 4. In another words, I'm only left with less than a term to preapre for my promos and I'm still so weak in all my subjects. Sigh. I'm bound to fail.
There's gonna be Maths test tomorrow. Haven't prepared for it yet. Don't hafta mood to prepare for it too. Sigh. Shall study during tomorrow's break.
My life's crap! -Raawwh-
I Hear The Voices Call.
12:49 PM
she writes
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
So exhuasted. Physically and mentally. All I wish for now is a really good sleep.
Chemistry SPA and Economics test tomorrow. So dead. Haven't prepared for Economics test at all. And not fully prepared for SPA.
God bless.
Here With Me.
12:36 PM
she writes
Monday, July 04, 2005
1st July 2005 - Friday
Went to watch Be With You after school with Xiaoli, Tammie, Germaine and Ruo Han. It's like the first movie I watch with my classmates! The show was okay. A little confusing. But super touching. I cried. And Xiaoli and Tammie were laughing at me. Felt kinda embarassed. But I mean like I can't really blame them. I'm always like crazy and hyper in school, so they don't really getta see the emotional side of me very often.
Went to watch Tepang's first match for the Yuhua Cup. Siglap played against Warriors, and they won. The match was so different from Youth Cup. When you watch the matches of Youth Cup, it's as though you're watching S.League. But when you watch the matches of Yuhua Cup, you feel as though you're watching English Premiere League. Not only are the players older and more experienced; cause Youth Cup is only for people of the age of 18 or below while Yuhua Cup is usually played by the people above 18, but they are also so much more rowdy and rough, totally don't display any sportsmanship. Not only that, they also express their displeasure for their team mates on court. Not that it's a problem, but they do it by glaring and shouting at them. How encouraging is that?
2nd July 2005 - Saturday
Went to watch Man of the House with Jessica, Kenny and Tepang at Causeway Point. The show's funny! Not a bad show! Kenny and Jessica were like so totally crazy yesterday! Kenny created this baby outta his sweater and some other stuff! And it's name is Fries Yeo Shu Tiao! Haha! So dumb!
As for today, nothing much happen. Feel a little unwell. Practically slept through my day.
05A42 is having a class outing tomorrow at East Coast! I really really wanna go! Really really wanna see everyone again! But I'm like having my Chemistry SPA and Economics test this Wednesday, as well as Maths test on Thursay, and I haven't prepared for any of them yet! What am I supposed to do?! I really wanna go! Sigh.
Every Word You Say. Take My Breath Away.
9:50 AM
she writes
Friday, July 01, 2005
Feel so down.
Grant's going to childcare in August. I'm so so so so gonna miss him like crazy. Wish he didn't have to go. But I understand why my mum made this decision. I know if she could she'll definitely be more than willing to take care of him. But I still can't help feeling upset. Just can't seems to stop the tears.
I know I'm just emotional. But this is that kinda feeling that no one else will understand. My mum has been taking care of him since he was born. It've been 2 years that I've been coming home having him in the house. I watched him grow from a baby to the little boy he is now. I withnessed the first time he walked as well as his first tooth grow. As a boy who just simply refuses to speak, he learn how to express himself through his actions. And when he first started to learn how to speak, I was the first person he knew how to address. From simple one syllabus words, he can now say words like hamsters, monster, batman and sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. He can even peddle his tricycle now. He added so much colours to my life. I really cannot imagine coming home without him in the house. It's gonna be so quiet without his noise and laughter.
I know maybe I'm being a little paranoid. But I can't help wondering if he's gonna be alright over there. What if no one understands what he's talking about? What if the other kids don't wanna play with him? What if he don't have any friends? What if the kids there bully him? What if he doesn't get enough sleep during his afternoon nap? He's so fussy about his food. What if he don't like the food over there? I'm really worried. If only he didn't have to go.
I really feel like talking to someone. I really wish someone could give me a hug, and lend me a shoulder to cry. But there seems to be no one I can approach. I don't seems to be able to approach Tepang. I don't know. It just don't feel the same anymore. Jessica's seems so busy. And the only time I get to see Suxian is during school hours. If only Wan Mei was here. I really wish I could talk to her.
How Do I Deal In The Meantime Without You.
1:10 PM
she writes