Friday, December 31, 2004
I was praying very very hard that tonight's event will be dinner and dance instead of wedding.. Not because I wanted to stay back and earn extra cash.. But because I know that if tonight's event was to be wedding dinner.. I'm bound to get very very emotional.. And I was right..
Tears just kept on surfacing in my eyes.. I kept on keeping myself busy so that my mind wouldn't go wandering.. But I just couldn't stay focus.. I really really feel like crying.. But as I didn't want to scare anyone.. I fought hard to keep the tears within.. People kept on asking me why do I look so moody today.. And my answer to them was that.. "I don't know..".. But in fact.. I do.. I know exactly why I can't get myself to smile or laugh today..
Today's my last day at work.. Why do I say that it's my last day at work.. Because school's starting.. And I'm not allowed to work anymore.. In another words.. It just means that today's the last day that we'll be working together.. Taking the same cab home together.. Meeting in the kitchen.. No more long bus rides together.. No more long walks together..
I'm gonna miss those times..
I'm gonna miss those days..
I don't wish for the ability to turn back time.. I just wish I had one more week.. Just one more week..
"I really miss you.. And I'm gonna really miss you.."
Someone To Have And Hold.. With All My Heart And Soul..
3:59 PM
she writes
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Old guys are desperate! In fact.. I should say.. They are
VERY DESPERATE! So the moral of the story is.. Guys.. Please don't grow old.. Hahax.. What the..
Okay okay.. Enough about old and desperate guys..
Went to eat steamboat with Jessica.. Si Liang.. Tepang and Desmond today.. Had quite a lot of fun! Laughing! Crapping! Joking! And at the same time.. We stuffed ourselves with so much food that we became dead full! Hahax! Okay.. Maybe I was the only one stuffing myself with loads of food.. =X I wonder how much weight am I gonna gain.. Hahax.. Seems a bit too late to regret.. Whatever!
On our way back.. We were like laughing non-stop on the MRT! Hahax! But ou can't balcme us too.. We saw so many hunky "Jennifer"! Hahax! =X
But on top of all the fun we had.. I still can't help but feel quite upset.. Cause this is probably gonna be the last time I'm gonna see Jessica before school starts.. Sigh.. I'm gonna really really miss her.. Sigh..
Anyway.. I'm going chalet on Friday! So exciting! I'm gonna see the Quackies again! Hahax!
We Never Said Our Love Was Everygreen.. Or As Unchanging As The Sea.. But If You Can Still Remember.. Stop And Think Of Me..
3:59 PM
she writes
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
I feel like crying..
Love Has Turned To Dust..
4:43 PM
she writes
Kit Chan - Why Dream Of Love
Is this what eyes where never meant to see
The end of hope and all it meant to me
How can I find the strength to carry on another day
Without my pride there's nothing left to say
Is the way my life was meant to be?
Too late to say I was wrong
Perhaps the weak believe that they are strong I
thought that if I tried I'd find a way to earn their trust
Yet all I've known and loved has turned to dust
It seems there was no way I could belong
The fire that burns within your heart
The pain that tears your life apart
The rain that falls from broken skies
The love I lost beneath the lies
And must I face the truth along?
Is this the end of all I've known?
The years I gaves, the tears I cried
Why dream of love, when love has died?
I know one day the story will be told
And in the end the secrets will be sold
And will they look at me and say I should have known the end
Perhaps I did but why should I pretend?
I only dreamt of love and growing old
The fire that burns within your heart
The pain that tears your life apart
The rain that falls from broken skies
The love I lost beneath the lies
And must I face the truth along?
Is this the end of all I've known?
The years I gaves, the tears I cried
Why dream of love, when love has died?
2:39 PM
she writes
Sigh..
50 000 people reported dead.. And the numbers are still increasing..
Uncountable people missing.. And the numbers are still increasing as well..
Is the world really coming to an end?
What can I do to help?
I feel uselss sitting here..
But what exactly can I do to help..
Why Dream Of Love.. When Love Has Died..
2:30 PM
she writes
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
I'm trying to cope with a fever..
Any suggestions? Anything except medications and visiting of the doctor..
38.1 degrees.. It just wouldn't stop rising..
Maybe I should turn in early..
Have I Seen You Look So Gloom.. I Can't Find The Cure.. And Nothing Comfort You..
6:23 PM
she writes
I bought a pair of Nike shoes today! It's white.. With a little bit of grey at the bottom and a bit purplish at the top.. I really really wanted to get those Adidas shoes instead.. They were really really nice! But Mummy said I already have something similar at home.. Must as well get something different.. Then I have more variety of shoes.. And Tepang say those Adidas shoes wouldn't be very suitable for running.. So.. I got the Nike one instead.. It supposingly cost $119.. But there was a 30% discount.. So I manage to get it at $83.. Although I still have like about $20 left from the $100 that Mummy gave me.. But I've decided to make my ez-link tomorrow.. Which cost $20 if I'm not wrong.. Which means.. I have nothing left! Nothing! I feel so broke! Sigh.. Just hope that I'll have enough to spend when I go for chalet..
Went to Mayspring for dance gathering in the evening.. Although the gathering wasn't exactly very fun.. Cause everyone simply just clustered in their usual groups and talk among themselves.. There wasn't much interaction.. Except during the games.. But I felt glad that I went.. Cause it've beem ages since I saw Jiamin.. Wan Mei and Suxian.. Got to catch up a little with them..
"6 days left.. Although numerically.. It's 6 days.. But we both know we haven't got so many days.. Whenever I get to see you now.. My heart really really aches.. Tears always seems to find their way to reach my eyes.. But I fought hard to keep them within.. It's sad that the both of us know time is running out.. Yet there's nothing we can do.. Sigh.."
Share Each Day With Me.. Every Night.. Every Morning..
3:59 PM
she writes
Monday, December 27, 2004
Haven't been blogging for so many days.. Cause I haven't been online for many days.. Was busy with presents..
So I guess I should summarised what have been happening in my life..
20th December ( Monday )
Went town with Jessica.. Yong Hwee and Tepang.. Nothing much.. We simply walked around.. Splurged.. Okay.. I was the only one who splurged.. Alright.. We watched Love So Divine.. It's a very very nice Korean romance comedy..
21st December ( Tuesday )
Went Jurong Point with Mummy.. Grant.. Jessica.. Weird combination.. But.. Yah.. We went to get Christmas presents.. Jessica's cousin came to meet us as well.. But she didn't stay for long.. After getting all the presents.. Jessica came over.. And we started on the presents..
22nd December ( Wednesday )
Met Tepang after his match or training.. I couldn't remember.. =X We went to Causeway Point to look for Jessica's Christmas present.. Last minute hunting! =X Mummy also gave me a hundred bucks to buy a new pair of shoes for JC! So nice of her!
23rd December ( Thursday )
Mummy's birthday! Should sing her a birthday song here since we didn't do it the other day as we didn't get her a cake.. =X Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Mummy! Happy birthday to you! MuackZzZ!
Jessica and Tepang came over in the morning.. Jessica came so that we could finish up the presents.. As for Tepang.. I don't know what he came over for.. He probably just came to take up space and fight for oxygen with Jessica and me.. =X In the evening.. Mummy.. Daddy.. Grant and me met my sister and brother-in-law at Marina Bay Mrt station.. We went to eat steamboat to celebrate Mummy's birthday..
24th December ( Friday )
Christmas eve! So exciting! Stayed at home till evening.. Then went over to my cousin's house for a mini family gathering cum celebration.. The place was packed with kids.. Claris.. Sherlynn.. Alicia.. Nicky.. Grant.. Aden.. Asher.. Claris's more friendly then before.. Sherlynn's prettier then she was when she's a baby.. Nicky's just as pretty and sexay as she always is.. It's the first time I saw Alicia.. Awww~! She's so cute! Chubby! With very big eyes! Aden and Asher grown much taller.. As for Grant.. Guess I don't hafta mention.. I see him every other day..
Left the place around 8.. And met Jessica at Somerset Mrt at around 8:50.. We bought 5 spray cans.. Which are either empty or only half filled for 10 bucks.. And guess who we bought it from.. Yao Hui.. Ken and company.. Black shop.. =X As usual.. Town was totally packed with people.. And before we even reached Wisma.. The both of us were already covered with ribbons and foam.. Crap! We had to sit at the stairs in Taka to avoid the mass spraying outside and wait for Tepang and Desmond to come to our rescue.. And I stained my bag! My Roxy white bag! My heart aches for it! Sigh! After we met Tepang and Desmond.. We simply just weaved through the mass spraying crowd waiting for time to pass.. And although Tepang and Desmong were there to "protect" us.. But Jessica and me still kept on getting attacked by strangers.. And a few of them got blasted off by me.. I swored at them.. =X I know I shouldn't have.. But I couldn't help it.. They sprayed the foam right into my face.. The "meng jia la ren" (word contributed by Desmond) were especially irritating.. They just can't seems to keep their hands to themselves.. They simply have to stretched out their black hands and spray the foam right in your face.. Felt like giving them 2 tight slaps.. But I managed to get back at them after that.. Okay.. It wasn't exactly me who got back at them.. It was some other people.. Okay.. It was Tepang's big group of friends to be exact.. We met them while we were outside Meritus Mandrin hotel.. Although they help me get back at "meng jia la ren".. But I still thought they were kinda racist and mean.. One of the guy approached most of the "meng jia la ren" that walk past us.. He try to like slow them down by talking to them.. And the entire group of them will approach them with the spray cans and cover him with foam.. Making them look very very white.. For once.. And after that.. The guy who approached them will get a cupboard box and placed it over their heads.. But it was really really amusing and entertaining watching them! Hahax! =X
Reached home at around 3 in the morning.. And stayed up till 6 to finish up Tepang's present..
25th December ( Friday )
Christmas! Merry Christmas everyone! Thanx for the people who have gave me presents and sent me cards! Jessica got me a piglet drawer! Liling got me a box of chocolates and 2 cards! Sister got me a necklance!
This is always the case.. We always enjoy ourselves a lot on Christmas eve.. Then simply just sleep or slack on Christmas Day to make up for the energy we lost on eve..
So as usual.. I didn't do much on Christmas day.. Went to meet Tepang to pass him his present.. Then after that went to Jurong Point to watch Phantom of the Opera with him and Jessica.. It was a great show.. But not too great afterall.. Jessica and me both thought the show was to brief..
After the show.. It was already 6 plus.. Although I really didn't want to.. But I had to head to Tanjong Pagar to meet Mummy.. Daddy.. Sister.. Brother-in-law.. As well as Grant.. It was Great grandma's birthday.. And she's holding a dinner.. So no matter how much we didn't wish to be there.. We just had to be..
Reached home at around 11 after the dinner.. The "mint" Tepang kept me in suspense all the way until 11:59 before he told me where he hid his Christmas present for me! He hid it at the shoe rack outside my house! Bleah! Got me all nervous and worked up cause I'm someone who cannot really take suprises.. Anyway.. He got me a wallet!
Conferenced with Jessica.. Desmond.. And Tepang till like 5 in the morning.. Si Liang joined us in the later part of the conference..
Happy Friendship Day Jessica! It's the first time we're celebrating Friendship day although we already know each other for almost 4 years..
26 December ( Sunday )
Phew~! I finally reached Sunday.. I shall never try to blog everything that happened for the entire day in one post again.. Cause it's so tiring to recall and type so much as well.. And it will be quite a torture to those who hafta read it.. So sorry!
Finally managed to finish Jessica's present today! After sleeping early in the morning.. And waking up early in the morning for 3-4 days.. I finally finished it! Feel quite proud of myself! Still can't reveal what the present is.. Cause I didn't get the chance to pass it to her today.. But I shall reveal it tomorrow.. And post a picture of the end product as well.. Hahax.. I took it with the new digital camera we bought for Mummy.. But at the same time.. I feel quite bad as well.. Didn't manage to complete it on time.. Have to give it to her as a belated present..
Went to town to collect my pay as well as my booking slip.. But I couldn't collect my booking slip cause the office was closed.. So I don't know which day I'm working next week.. After I collected my pay.. I went to window shop alone.. Saw a nice skirt at Topshop! Again! Then Jian Hui called.. And they ask why Jessica and me didn't go down to the BBQ.. And he kept asking me to go down.. Since I was all alone.. I didn't want to at first.. Cause it will be really really weird.. But he got so many people to persuade me.. Jun Kai.. Jin Jian.. Si Liang.. Yao Rong.. So I went..
Reach East Coast at around 8:30.. But only reach the pit at 8:45.. Cause it's so damn far away.. Pit 53.. And like I've expected.. It was so weird.. Didn't know what to do there.. So I just sat at the shelter beside the pit.. And look around.. Did talk to some of them.. But didn't talk a lot.. Played with Jun Kai's Jack Russel.. Then went to the beach to sit for a while.. And I left at around 10.. Felt kinda dumb.. They called me to go down to do nothing.. But it was really nice of them to invite us.. Jin Jian and Jian Hui felt kinda guilty for asking me there and yet they didn't talk to me much.. So they offer to send me to the bus stop.. They bladed while I walked.. Hahax.. But half way.. Tepang came to send me off.. So they left.. But still.. I thought they were kinda sweet.. Please.. Don't get the wrong idea..
Enough about events and happenings.. Should touch a bit about my feelings..
I'm feeling depressed..
It's Monday today.. Which means that another 6 days to the start of my Jc life.. And another 4 days to the end of this year..
I have this urge to do something to make time stop..
I don't wish to go to Jc anymore..
I don't want this year to end..
I don't want to move on..
I really don't..
There's too much that I have to leave behind when I move on..
There's too many changes to adapt when I move on..
I really really really wish time can stop.. Just this once..
I'm contented with all I have now.. Although I don't have a lot a lot of friends.. But all the friends I have are great friends.. But I know once the new year starts.. We're all gonna be going to different schools.. Heading in different directions.. Busy with our own life.. And then.. We'll slowly start to drift apart.. And I really really don't want this to happen..
I love my friends.. Every single one of them.. I really love them..
When Will The Night Be Over..
6:50 PM
she writes
Monday, December 20, 2004
Maybe it's just me.. But I had a really really bad day at work..
Tonight's event was wedding dinner.. I paired up with Tepang and we were given 3 tables.. Gary together with this 2 China girls were given the 4 tables beside ours.. So they suggested that we put all our jack stands together and set up 1 side station.. Not that I have a problem with that.. But the entire side station ended up in a big mess.. Things weren't placed in a manner that they should be.. They were just scattered all around the places.. And things that were used up weren't replaced as well.. Like the empty glasses.. As well as the tea and the hot water.. And all these got me really really pissed off.. Cause I like the side station to be neat and clean with ample things.. It's definitely much easier to work that way.. And a lot of problems can also be avoided as well..
Talking about problems.. Before the dinner even start.. Someone used up all the empty glasses that I placed at the side station.. I know I shouldn't be making such a big fuss over it.. Cause our group and Gary's group were sharing all the staff.. But I thought whoever who used up should take the initiative to replace them.. So.. When one of the guest at my table asked for a glass of warm water.. I had to go all the way to the kitchen to get it for her.. As a result.. I missed the cue for the preparation of the fan fare.. And I went out to the foyer without the 1st course.. Panicking.. Looking like a clown as well.. And Jason shot me this damn nasty look as if everything was my fault..
When we were only at the 2nd course.. I scalded my entire left palm with the hot tea.. So I had loads of problems carrying the food as well as the round tray for the rest of the entire dinner.. But there was nothing I could do.. I had to just carry on.. Cause it gets really really busy when 2 of you are given 3 tables as there's one more table to serve.. And it's not esay to have to constantly top up 30 cups of tea as well as 30 cups of soft drinks.. Beer.. As well as red wine that you have to go all the way out to the bar at the foyer to get.. I mean why can't they just give us a few bottles of those drinks and let us place it at the side station.. In this way we can just refill the drinks using the bottles instead of going all the way to the bar to get them.. Yah.. Yah.. Yah.. I know I'm working at Shagri La.. Not Boon Lay Raja.. But don't you think our job will be easier that way.. We can save a lot more time and make our work will definitely be more efficient..
As if the day wasn't bad enough for me.. I fell from the platform at the loading bay.. About 4 steps high.. When I was heading for the taxi.. And I landed flat on the floor.. With quite a lot of people looking.. Imagine yourself caught in the same situation.. And mayeb you'll understand how I feel.. So I got myself bruises and cuts all over.. At my both knees.. My left ankle.. As well as my right palm and elbow.. And now.. My right elbow hurts so badly that I have to eat my noodles with a fork in my left hand.. How cool..
I don't know what's wrong with me today.. The inside of me kept on crying for help today.. But there's always no one there to help me.. I feel weak.. I'm weak.. Guess I've been too dependant lately that I've lost the will to be strong..
Anyway.. Someone made me feel like the most fortunate girl on earth today.. Very very touched.. So to that somebody..
"Thanx a lot!"
Is There A Chance That We Can Be.. Again..
3:59 PM
she writes
Sunday, December 19, 2004
I worked yesterday.. The event yesterday was dinner and dance.. And I stayed for the dance part.. It wasn't as bad as I've expected.. Cause we are not really required to serve the guests anymore.. Simply just help to clean up the ballroom..
By the time we finish cleaning up.. It was already like 2:30 a.m... And by the time I reached home.. It was already like 4 a.m... So tired! Fell asleep almost immediately after my bathe.. Hahax..
I worked today as well.. Today's even was a wedding dinner.. The bride looks really really pretty! As usual.. Hahax.. And the groom.. In my opinion.. Is rather good looking.. He have that kinda smart look..
Nothing much happened during work today.. Got small scoldings here and there.. But.. Hahax.. Whatever~! Who cares~!
Micheal.. This China boy and me were in the same group today.. Luckily Micheal joined our group.. If not I think we're sure in deep trouble.. The China boy is so blur! Hahax! He nearly drove Micheal to his grave! Hahax! So funny! And Micheal kept on entertaining me tonight.. He keep doing stupid things and moaning over the stupid gift bears! Hahax! So dumb! And he slipped and fell in the kitchen and broke 2 big bowls of lotus rice.. Big bowls as in those for the entire table.. Not those serve to individuals.. Hahax! I know I shouldn't be laughing.. It's not the fact that he slipper and fell that was funny.. What's funny was that.. Everything was such an irony! He just told me he bought a new pair of shoes which wouldn't make him slip when he's in the kitchen! And there he goes! Hahax!
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My Life.. With You By My Side.. Forever And Ever..
3:59 PM
she writes
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Let me tell you guys a secret..
I'm going to SAJC for the first 3 months!
Yeah!
My Heart Is In The Wind.. Drifting Over You..
5:31 AM
she writes
Friday, December 17, 2004
I'm dedicating this post to a really really important person..
"I guess I don't hafta name you.. I believe you'll know who you are after reading this..
Hmmm.. There's just so much so much that I gotta say to you..
Sorry about today.. I overslept and I didn't accompany you to see the doctor.. And on top of that.. You got to put up with my whinings.. Complaints and bad temper all day.. I know you tried very hard to cheer me up.. Voluntarily offering yourself for me to bite.. Sharing your 'jia chan' with me.. And making stupid comments that got me sorta irritated instead or making me feel better.. =X Thanx a lot! Sorry that I spoilt ya day.. I know we should be shopping and looking for Christmas presents.. Not walking around town aimlessly.. Trying to survive on a budget.. And putting up with me.. So sorry!
Seriously speaking.. I've always enjoy your company.. Your company during movies.. During shopping.. During the long bus rides on 105 to work.. During the cab rides back home after work.. During the long walk down Orcahrd Road yesterday night after work despite being so tired.. During the walks from the bus stop to my block.. During the times where we stared into the night sky looking at the stars.. During the runs at the big 'park' beside River Valley sec.. During the days when we were online till late in the night.. As well as during the times where you just sat quietly beside me to keep me company without saying anything..
Thanx a lot!
Thanx a million!
For eveything!
For always being there..
For sharing my joys and my woes..
For making me feel loved and cared for..
For making me feel special..
Thanx.."
Everything You Give To Me Feels As Though It's Meant To Be..
6:24 PM
she writes
I lost my wallet..
How great..
And inside the wallet.. There's my IC.. My ez-link.. My atm card.. As well as my 2 days pay of $77 that I just cashed out yesterday.. And if the person who found my wallet.. Or took my wallet is not nice enough to send back my IC and my ez-link.. I'll have to pay like around $70-$150 to get them replaced.. And on top of that.. My wallet cost $25.. So all in all.. I lost close to $200..
How great..
I know this is probably too much to ask for.. But hopefully.. Hopefully.. The person who've found my wallet will be really really nice to return my entire wallet together will the contents inside to me.. But why is it that everytime I tell myself that maybe I'll be able to get back my wallet with everything still in it.. Nothing missing.. I hear a voice telling me.. 'Fat hope! Dream on!'..
Sigh..
And as if things are not bad enough for me..
I went to searched through Grant's pile of toys just in case he playfully removed my wallet from my room and hid it some where else.. And this was what happened when my Dad saw me searching through the toys..
Dad: Ni zai zuo mo? ( translation: What are you doing? )
Mum: Zai zhao kan you me you hen ji ah? ( translation: Looking for traces of your wallet? )
Dad: Zi ji bu jian qian bao hai yao jiang ren jia tou.. Ke yi guai shui? ( translation: You are the one who lost the wallet.. Still accuse people of stealing.. Who can you blame? )
Me: Wo you mei you jiang shi Grant tou de! Ke neng ta na qu wan ma.. Wo zhi shi zhao zhao er yi ma! Bu ke yi me? Ni yi wei wo hen xiang bu jian qian bao ah? Shen jing bing! ( translation: I didn't say Grant stole my wallet right! Maybe he took it away to play.. Can't I even try searching for it? You think I want to lose my wallet? Crazy! )
And I stomped into the room and slammed my door shut..
I mean like.. What the fuck! What's the problem with him? I just thought Grant might have took my wallet away to play.. I didn't even mention about Grant stealing my wallet.. Come on! Grant stealing my wallet is just as good as him not buying lottery! So damn impossible!
Idiot!
What else can he do? What else is he good at? Other than making hell lot of noise when things happen!
Sigh..
Forgive me for my rudeness and the harsh words.. But you guys wouldn't understand how I feel.. Unless you've been at where I am now..
Sigh..
So there goes all the money for Christmas presents.. And to make things worse.. I didn't get a single day of booking for next week..
How bad can things get..
And I just learnt another fact after reading Jessica's blog.. Which is.. I'm gonna spend my Christmas eve alone.. Yah..
ALONE.. Ha..
How nice..
Sigh..
This is crap!
All crap!
Whatever it is.. Nothing's gonna change.. I'm still gonna head for town on Christmas eve.. So what if I'm gonna be alone? It's not as if I cannot survive alone! So this is it.. I'm gonng go to town alone on Christmas eve!
"Gal.. Don't get the wrong idea.. I'm definitely not blaming you or anything.. I know you gotta work.. I understand.. So don't hafta feel bad or anything kayx? *hugx* Anyway.. I don't think I'll be able to make it on 25th night.. Cause my great grandma's birthday happens to fall on that day.. And she's celebrating.. Having a dinner or something.. I'm still trying very hard to get myself outta it.. Hopefully I'll be able to.. Hopefully.."
Sigh..
The postings for the 3 months course is gonna be out tomorrow.. I feel so damn nervous! I got a very strong feeling I'm not gonna make it to SAJC.. Haix..
N'level results will be released tomorrow as well.. So good luck to everyone Te Pang.. Si Liang.. Jia Min.. Qi En.. Jessica.. Merilyn.. Vincent.. Rachel.. The 2 Joanna(s).. Melissa.. And anyone who I've missed out.. Good luck! I'm sure you guys will be able to make it through!
So Here Am I All By Myself.. Thinking Of You.. Nobody Else..
3:59 PM
she writes
Thursday, December 16, 2004
I gotta work today! Cause this girl called Clara didn't want to work.. So I went to replace her..
We had a rather easy but important event today.. It's this cocktail reception with loads of VIPs celebrating Japan's National Day.. We weren't required to do much.. Simply just serve drinks to the guests and clear the empty glasses and plates.. That's all.. The event ended at 9.. And we had to sign out at 10:30.. =( Which also means that I earned much lesser than usual today.. =(
After the reception was over.. Sharon.. This new girl friend that I made today.. Merilyn and me hid in the toilet to talk so as to escape from cleaning up.. =X Hahax! And when we finally thought that we have disappeared from the ballroom for a awfully long time.. We reluctantly returned to the ballroom.. Back in the ballroom.. We helped to clear away the left over food to the kitchen.. So that at the same time.. We could help to finish the food up! Hahax! We also keep finidng excuse to go over to Tower ballroom to visit Joanna as well as take a look at the bride as the event being held at Tower ballroom was wedding dinner.. So basically.. In another words.. The 3 of us just
SLACKED from 9.. All the way to 10:30.. =X Hahax! But I seriously had loads of fun being with them! Cause they're just so lame and crazy! Work couldn't have been any better!
I'm working on this Friday as well as Sunday! Yeah! But I'm hoping I'll be able to work on Saturday as well.. Hopefully the clerk will call me to ask me to work on Saturday.. Or some girls cannot make it to work on Saturday again.. And I'm asked to replace them.. Hopefully..
On The Go.. I Lost My Soul.. To Some Forgotten Dreams..
3:59 PM
she writes
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
I'm feeling very very confused..
I'm allowing myself to feel in a way that I shouldn't.. I tried my best to control.. To hold it back.. But everything just proved that I failed..
I wonder how long this feeling is gonna last.. I wonder how true this feeling is gonna be.. Or is everything gonna turn out like what I've expected?
Sigh..
I guess time will show..
I'll Be Dreaming Of You Tonight.. Till Tomorrow I'll Be Holding You Tight..
3:51 PM
she writes
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I had a really really
EXCELLENT (word contributed by Nadalala) day at work yesterday!
We had 2 events going on yesterday.. And both the event going on were wedding dinners! Hahax! The wedding dinner going on at the Island ballroom looks more grand.. But I was rather glad that I got the one at Tower ballroom.. Cause everything ended early.. Hahax..
I was really excited when I got to learn that we were doing wedding dinner.. Cause I had never done wedding dinners before.. And I really really wanted to see the bride as well.. Although she didn't really look very pretty in her wedding photo.. But she looks totally gorgeous in person.. She has the kinda glow on her face that no one else in the entire ballroom has.. But I guess that's how it works for every bride.. They just looks especially gorgeous n their big night..
I did a stupid mistake during the fan fair! Really really stupid! I was hoping that it wasn't very obvious.. But I guess it was.. Cause even Te Pang who was at the other side of the ballroom saw it.. Oh my gosh! I felt so extremely dumb! But fortunately.. I got 2 great tables of guests that made me felt much much better..
I unknowingly became the daughter-in-law of one of the guest just because I was the same age as his son who was sitting at the next table! And they kept on teasing me as well as his son about it! Hahax! Although it was really really embarassing! But they really really made my day!
I also made a lot more friends yesterday! Lai Wei.. Michael.. Yang Nian.. Joanne.. And a few more that I didn't get to know their names.. As usual.. Hahax!
I was in the same group as Lai Wei and Michael! 2 nice guys! And Merilyn was serving the tables beside mine.. So we kept on crapping and stealing each other stuff.. Hahax!
Sky Are Not As Blue When You're Not With Me.. Stars They Never Seems To Shine As Bright..
4:22 AM
she writes
Sunday, December 12, 2004
I had an extremely
BAD day at work..
I feel like crying..
"I miss you.."
If I Could Get Another Chance..Another Walk.. Another Dance With You.. I'll Play A Song That Will Never Ever End..
3:59 PM
she writes
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Finally.. I got to work yesterday! Yeah! From 2 in the afternoon.. All the way to midnight.. It was rather tiring.. But it was a great day at work! Cause I made a lot of new friends! I got to know the super funny Merilyn.. The kinda auntie Qi'En.. The super playful Gary.. The rather cool Vincent.. The quiet Wei Min.. The very gentle Wen Yu.. The sweet Elis.. The cute Jessica.. And many others who I didn't get to know their names..
Yesterday's event was Canon's 25th Dinner and Reception.. Qi'En.. Wei Min and me were in the same group.. And we were allocated to only 2 tables.. So it was expected to be a rather easy task yesterday.. But I thought it was kinda stressful.. Cause the schedule seems very tight.. And I had to do the portioning on one of the tables because yesterday was Wei Min's first day at work.. And Qi'En alone cannot handle 2 tables.. We also have to constantly help out at Te Pang's tables which were beside ours although they had 3 person in their group handling 2 tables as well.. Te Pang.. Elis and a China boy.. But yesterday was the first day at work for Elis and the China boy.. And the China boy suddenly disappeared half way through the dinner.. Leaving one table unattended.. Hahax! We also got an extra hour pay because the supervisors thought we did rather well for the night!
I'm working later at 5! Hope I'll get a good grouping today again!
Have You Ever Notice My Tears In The Clear Waters..
5:02 AM
she writes
Thursday, December 09, 2004
I'm feeling so depressed..
Jessica is working again tonight..
Sigh..
I miss her!
Managed to talk to her for a little little while in the evening.. But didn't really get the chance to talk a lot.. Cause I was rushing to go out.. Sigh.. Didn't get to ask her how was her day at work yesterday.. But as usual.. Hope she'll have a great day at work today..
We discussed a little about the Christmas presents.. And she told me she wasn't even sure if she'll be free.. She said she'll be free this Saturday evening.. But I think I'll most probably be working.. So I guess.. Most probably.. We wouldn't be getting Christmas presents together anymore..
This is what I mean when I mention our time clashes..
Sigh..
I wonder if she will be needing to work on Christmas eve as well as Christmas.. What if she really needs to work? Does it means that I'm gonna be all alone this Christmas? Does it means that we won't be celebrating our friendship birthday anymore? But.. There's nothing we can do if she really needs to work on that 2 days.. Can't expect her not to go to work.. It'll be so irresponsible..
I'm feeling so depressed..
I have a strong feeling that I'm never gonna get into SAJC for the first 3 months.. I've known of so many people with 10 points and below applied to get into SAJC.. What makes me think they'll choose me? Although I keep telling myself that I'm prepared for the worse.. It's gonna be okay if I don't get into SAJC.. I can always go somewhere else.. But I know I'm just lying to myself to make myself feel better.. I know I'm not prepared for the worse.. I know it's not gonna be okay if I don't get into SAJC.. I know that I'm gonna be very upset if I have to go somewhere else..
Sigh..
After thinking back.. I don't think I'm gonna do well for my O's either.. Don't think I'll be able to get into SAJC after the first 3 months as well..
The path ahead of me seems so dark..
I'm Wishing On A Star.. And Trying To Believe..
3:38 PM
she writes
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Nothing much happened today.. Went to the library earlier on to borrow some books.. Borrowed 2 storybooks.. 'Love Letter' and 'Calling Romeo'.. As well as a receipe book called 'Chocolate Heaven'.. Really hope I'll be able to learn to make loads of new stuff this holidays since I'm like sorta rotting at home on the days when I'm not working..
Jessica is working tonight! Again! Sigh.. I realised that our timing sorta clashes now.. She's working almost every day during weekdays.. While I'll be mostly working during weekends.. Sigh.. Don't think I'll be seeing her so often anymore.. Not to mention going out together.. Don't think we'll be able to get Christmas presents together either.. But I heard she had a great day at work yesterday.. I guess that's what's important.. She made quite a lot of new friends.. And time seems to pass very fast for her.. But she said that it was rather tiring though.. Hopefully.. Her day at work today will just be as great as yesterday..
I miss my friends! It've been ages since I last saw them! I haven't seen Suxian and Jiamin with their rebonded hair.. I haven't seen Wan Mei with her new hair either.. I wonder if Zhen Zhen and Yeu Yeu got any taller after going for trainings.. I wonder is Nadalala got a new hairstyle.. And if Gennie's big curly hair has got back to normal.. And if Simm Ynn went to get her hair rebonded.. I wonder if Ching Hong got more feminine.. And if Shi Han got any prettier.. I wonder how Charmaine is doing with the new job.. And what Izyanti have been up to recently.. Sigh.. I miss them so much! Can't wait for the class chalet.. Cause I'll be able to see most of them then.. Hopefully they're all having a great holidays..
If Only You Could Read What's On My Mind.. See Right Through My Eyes.. You'd Sooner Realise..
3:47 PM
she writes
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Kelly Clarkson - My Grown Up Christmas List
Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies
Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream
So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
and wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list
As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree
Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list
What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth(there'd be)
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown up christmas list
This is my grown up christmas list
1:47 PM
she writes
Went to the hospital to visit Granny today.. She looks fine.. But not as good as yesterday.. Anyway.. She got discharged this afternoon.. The doctor says she lacks potassium.. Anyone has any idea how to increase potassium level in the body?
Granny will be staying over at my cousin's place for the time being.. Everyone thinks that she'll be better there.. Cause my cousin has a maid at home.. And my uncle will be around too.. So there'll be people to take care of her.. But this means that I wouldn't be able to see her that often anymore.. Cause she wouldn't be coming over to stay anymore.. And my cousin lives at Woodlands.. Making it less convinient for me to visit her.. But hopefully she'll really be better over there.. And I'll try to visit her on the days that I'm not working..
Jessica's working tonight.. At a factory.. Night shift.. Till 7 in the morning tomorrow.. Can't help but feel worried about her.. She's working alone.. Wondering how she's doing now.. But I believe she's doing well.. She's so smart.. And a fast learner too.. But hopefully she'll be able to take the long hours..
Watched 'Christmas With The Kranks' yesterday.. It's quite a good show.. Funny and really meaningful..
I haven't been working for 2 days.. And I wouldn't be working tomorrow as well.. I only managed to get Sunday's booking for this week.. But Tepang say he'll try to help me get more days to work.. Hopefully he'll be able to.. If not I'll never be able to earn enough this holiday.. Sigh.. I needa work!
I wouldn't be working tomorrow.. Which means that I don't have any where to go tomorrow.. Jessica will be dead tired when she get back from work.. So I don't think we'll be going outta get Christmas presents.. I guess I'll probably be heading to the gym.. Going for a swim or a run.. It've been ages since I last exercised.. Gosh! I bet I gained a lot of weight!
It's Hard Holding You.. Loving You.. Losing You.. It's Sad To Be True.. And Be Fooled By You..
1:40 PM
she writes
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Can you believe! I didn't break anything at work today! Hahax! Instead.. This 2 guys.. Broke something right in front of my face! Hahax!
I must admit that I seriously learnt a lot today.. Other then serving the fish.. I've more or less learnt the rest..
Shall stop here.. Gotta go get some sleep.. Only slept for less than 3 hours last night.. Tomorrow morning still hafta wake up early to go to the hospitial to visit Granny.. Wonder how she's doing.. Hope she's fine..
Hope I'll be able to work tomorrow as well! Although it's kinda tiring..
Fading Away.. Sick Of This Life.. Just Want To Scream.. How Could This Happen To Me..
5:48 PM
she writes
God obviously hasn't heard my prayers..
Granny fell this morning.. At around 3 plus.. And fainted.. So she had to be admitted into the hospital..
I don't understand..
Am I not praying hard enough? Or have I not been a good girl?
Why is every thing bad happening to me?
Why?
I really don't understand..
Time Heals All Wounds.. They Say.. And I Should Know.. Cause It Seems Like Forever.. But I'm Letting You Go..
5:58 AM
she writes
Saturday, December 04, 2004
I saw Air Pork and Jessica Kong on bus 187! Yah! Air Pork as in the one jumping outside Melvin's class trying to get a look of him! Jessica Kong as in the 'bom bom bom'! Oh gosh! They just like totally spoilt my day! Okay.. And the worse part is.. They were both with their boyfriends! Oh gosh! Air Pork smooched her boyfriend in front of Jessica! As in Jessica Kee.. Not that King Kong! And Jessica Kong was like leaning against her boyfriend! So close that their faces were like sticking together! Oh gosh! Yucks! Gross! Thinking of it makes me wanna puke!
The both of them make me and Jessica feel like such a failure! Even this kinda people have boyfriend! I know it's a mean comment to make.. But it's true what! =X But seriously.. Whatever~! With a big fat capital W! Who gives a damn about them! It's not as if their boyfriends are really good looking or cute either! And it's not as if I'm interested in having a boyfriend now either! So..
Whatever~!
Anyway.. Back to the point..
I was waiting for my cousin to call me today.. We were supposed to go out to look for Christmas presents.. But she didn't.. So I rot at home for half a day.. Facing the computer for most of the time.. But fortunately.. Me and Jessica decided to meet and go for a walk at the night market near Jurong Point.. Yao Rong.. Si Liang and Willy came along too..
We were supposed to meet at 7:15 under the big clock.. But the 3 guys were late.. Really late.. Like for about half an hour.. Me and Jessica kept on complaining while we were waiting for them.. Cause it's like.. Every where we stood.. We seems to be blocking the way.. It's like so crowded every where too.. And people around us kept on smoking non stop.. Damn! Don't they just get it! Smoking makes you die earlier!
We didn't really do much.. Just walk around.. Like I mentioned earlier.. We went to take a walk at the night market.. Then went into Jurong Point.. And went out to the night market again.. Watching as the 3 of them kept fooling around.. Attracting so many stares from the people around.. Hahax.. I guess some things just never change.. They're still as playful since the day we got to know them.. But I spotted loads of changes on them too..
Yarong: My impression of him is that small boy who's interested in nothing but playing.. Just like how he look the very first time I saw him.. But today.. When I look at him again.. I realised he've grown and matured a lot.. He's much taller now.. Much darker as well.. And he's also worrying and thinking about more things than before.. Relationship and his basketball..
Si Liang: He've grown a lot too.. Much taller and bigger now.. Bigger as in not in the sense of fatter.. Just.. Haiyah.. Also don't know what word I should use to describe.. But I used to remember him as this rather skinny boy.. He's also thinking about a lot more now.. Stressing over a lot of things..
Willy: Don't know what I can say about him.. Cause I don't really know him.. But I think.. His hairstyle changed..
As time pass.. Some things just remains the same.. But a lot of things changes as well.. Well.. What can we do? We cannot ask time to stop for us.. Neither can we expect time to slow down for us.. I guess we can only try to make use of it to the fullest.. And learn to treasure every minute and every second.. As well as all the people around us..
Si Liang doesn't seems to be feeling too good recently.. He's like all stressed up.. Don't know what's wrong.. He said he can't tell me.. So there's like nothing much I can help.. Sigh.. It really hurts to see him this way.. Don't get the wrong idea.. Cause as far as I know.. He's always cheerful and lame guy.. But autta a sudden he got so stressed up.. So not like the him I use to know.. Sigh.. Wish I could do something to help..
"Hey sister.. I don't really know what I can say now.. Don't even think you're gonna see this.. I feel so worried for you.. And so bad that there's nothing I can do to help.. But I just hope that you'll cheer up.. And be more optimistic about life.. Hopefully all your problems will be solved as soon as possible.. And you'll be stress-free.. Take care!"
Tepang just called me to say that his friend who's suppose to work tomorrow cannot make it.. And ask if I can work tomorrow.. Oh gosh! How how? Should I? I don't want to miss an opportunity to work.. Cause when there's work.. It means there'll be income.. But.. It's so sudden.. I haven't got the shoes from Jessica.. I haven't told mummy too.. Now that she's asleep.. And I promised to go to Ackley's first month celebration too.. Oh gosh! How? But I think I'll most probably be working.. Really don't wanna miss the opportunity.. I guess I'll just tell mummy that they don't have enough people.. So they called for me to work.. Hopefully she wouldn't be angry.. Pray for me.. If she's okay with it.. There's shouldn't be much of a problem.. Cause I can go get the shoes from Jessica in the morning.. Oh gosh! I'm just praying really hard that mummy won't get angry! Please! Pray for me!
I'll Cross The Ocean For You.. I'll Go And Bring You The Moon.. For You I Will..
3:59 PM
she writes
Friday, December 03, 2004
I don't know why things will turn out this way..
Why is everything happening at this point of time..
Is God playing a trick on me..
Or is he just putting me through a test..
But whatever it is..
I wish he'll take pity on me..
I really don't know how much longer I can hold on..
I don't know how much more I'll be able to walk on..
My tears are drying..
My soul is dying..
I'm just like the girl in the picture of my blog..
Standing by the window every night..
Waiting for a miracle to happen..
And I Can't Stand The Pain.. And I Can't Make It Go Away..
8:22 PM
she writes
I tried very hard to hold back my tears.. But I couldn't help it.. So I cried while I was waiting for the bus at the bus stop outside Far East.. There was this auntie sitting there.. An Indonesian toursit.. She saw me crying.. And she came over to me before she left and ask me why am I crying.. And she also told me not to cry.. She's so nice! And very sweet too! She made my day!
Este Amor Es Como El Sol Que Sale Tras De La Tormenta..
3:59 PM
she writes
Everything I do is just wrong.. Wrong.. Wrong..
I went to get a job because I'm really desperate for money..
I really wish I can do my part at home.. Just help to lighten mum's and dad's burden.. I wish I can earn enough money for my JC's books and uniform.. As well as get my own new year clothes.. So that mum won't need to worry about all these..
I really wish I can earn enough to get mum a nice birthday present this year too.. Cause it's been ages since I got her something decent..
I really wish I can earn enough to get Granny a Christmas present as well.. All these years.. I never got her anything for Christmas before.. I just wish to buy her something this year..
I really wish I can earn enough to get myself a Mp3 player too.. I don't wanna bug mum for it.. Don't wish to add on to her burden..
But what did I get in the end.. I got a comment from someone that I don't really know that I went to work because I wanted to flirt around with the guys.. And even the guy I thought understands me the most.. Thinks that way too..
But I don't blame them.. They wouldn't have a chance to think that way if I didn't present myself that way.. So it just reflects that I'm a flirt..
I'm a FLIRT!
So to all the guys out there.. Stay away from me.. Cause..
I'm one big FLIRT!
I'm a FLIRT!
"Sorry.. I spoilt ya day.."
Even When I Try To Go With Someone New .. You're So Deep In My Head.. I Look Into His Eyes And I Say Your Name Instead..
3:44 PM
she writes
Thursday, December 02, 2004
I feel really really terrible within..
I'm hurting everyone around me.. I'm causing them all the pain and unhappiness.. I'm the cause of everything! It's all my fault!
People around me are all facing loads and loads of problems.. But there seems to be no way I can help.. I can't even say something to make them feel better.. All I'm capable of is just to make things worse..
Loads of loads of unhappy things just seems to be happening around me.. And they're causing me to suffocate..
Grandma's really ill.. I wish I can do something to make her get well as soon as possible.. I wish I can take away all her pain.. I really don't wanna lose her.. I really cannot afford to.. Tell me how..
Mummy and Daddy is sort of facing fanancial crisis.. And there's nothing I can do to help too.. I wish I could help to share their burden.. I wish I can give them a better life.. Tell me how..
I'm trying really hard to go on..
But I know I've already collasped within..
I wish someone can pick me up instead..
Tell me everything is gonna be alright..
But I know this is not the time to be crying for help.. It's the time to stay strong.. Hang on.. And walk on..
I Don't Know.. Should I Stay.. Or Should I Go..
5:32 PM
she writes
Liang Liang's 'liang liang' present!
The present is finally completed! Finally.. Hope he'll be touched more then he feel pissed off! Hahax!
Happy Birthday Liang Liang!
Met Si Liang at Jurong Point to pass him his 'liang liang' present.. Then me and Jessica headed to town.. Jessica was overwhelmed by 'xin fu gan' on the MRT! Why? Cause there was this rather cute guy sitting beside her.. And the best thing was.. He was leaning rather close to her.. Hahax! How cheeky can this girl get! Hahax!
We watched Polar Express at Cineleisure.. It was a really really great show! And there is this line in the show that left a deep impression in my mind.. I can't remember exactly what it is.. But the meaning is something like that.. "It doesn't matter where the train you're on is heading to.. What matters is that whether you choose to board the train.." I don't think I'm even like close to the line in the show.. But the meaning is there.. Hahax!
After the movie.. We went to walk around.. And guess what.. I saw Vincent! And he smiled at me! Of course I feel excited about it.. But.. He was holding a girl's hand.. And the girl's like.. Pretty! She's simply better than me in every aspect.. But just that she's shorter.. But guys nowsadays like petite girls.. So sad right!
Town is getting so boring for me and Jessica that we actually sat down at the benches along Orchard road and just watch people walk pass.. Hahax.. But we managed to wake the sleepy- head Tepang from his sweet dreams to come down to town to entertain us.. But in the end.. He brought me to the banquet he's working at to interview.. And.. They ask me to go back for training tomorrow.. But I'm not really sure if they're hiring me.. Cause so many people went to interview.. I am like the 45th person.. Hahax! Wish me good luck people! Cuase I really need this job..
It's Just Another Day Without You..
4:55 PM
she writes
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
I seems to be running..
Running away from reality..
Running away from truth..
I seems to be hiding..
Hiding all my unhappiness..
Hiding all the pain..
I feel so tired..
I'm really really tired of hiding and running.. And hiding and running.. And hiding and running..
I wish I could just collaspe.. Just collaspe and cry..
But I know if I do that..
I'll never be able to pick myself up again..
So I just got to keep on running.. And running.. And running..
And hiding.. And hiding.. And hiding..
Until I'm numb..
I'm Ready To Surrender..
11:17 AM
she writes