Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I didn't make it back into Sa.
I Wish I Could Tell Myself Everything's Gonna Be Fine.
12:34 PM
she writes
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Didn't go to school today. But I still left home at the usual time cause I didn't wanna let mama know I skip school. I know I'm a naughty girl. But whatever!
Went to the polyclinic to see a doctor in the morning. But it's definitely not because I'm sick. I'm perfectly fine. I just needa get an mc.
Then I met Jessica at Lot 1 at 10. She's so nice! Haha! She woke up early just to accompany me! So sweet of her right!
"Thanx a lot dear!" We ate breakfast at mac and then went to catch "Son of the Mask". The show is like so super duper lame! Haha! But the baby is so damn cute!
After the movie we went to the little mac stand to slack. We simply sat there, talked and watched people walk past us. We may look very stupid to the people who pass us by. But I really felt very comfortable just sitting down there talking to Jessica. Afterall, it's been a long long time since I went out with her. Not to mention, really really talked to her.
We slacked there all the way until it was about 2:30 and then went down to Clementi to watch bball match. Yong Hwee came over to join us later. Jurong played against New Town today. They lost. But no worries. They still got a match on Thursday. And I'm sure they'll win and get into top 8!
Tepang: I know you're upset that you all lost today. But you played really well today! And I'm really proud of you! I'm sure if you play like you did today, you guys will definitely win on Thursday! Jia you! You can do it de!
Liang Liang: Cheer up! It's not the end of the world! You still got another match on Thursday to get back everything that you've lost today! So stop reapproaching yourself. Gather back your spirit. You're part of the team. They need you to win. Jia you!
It's no doubt that Jessica understands me better than anyone else. When we were talking today. I told her that maybe if I'm really stranded in Pj, I may withdraw and go to poly. And she told me that's exactly what she've been wanting to tell me all along. But she's afraid that she may make me feel more demoralised. So she just kept it to herself.
Like I said. I may be withdrawing from Pj to go to Temasek to do hospitality. But I'm not too sure about it too. I don't know if things will be better for me this way. The thing that is encouraging me to go to poly is that I'll stand a higher chance to further my studies overseas. Go to a country which specialises in hospitality. Whereas if I go to a Jc, I may not get a chance to go overseas to further my studies after my A's. Cause my mama definitely cannot afford.
I know. It's a very selfish decision.
I really don't know.
I'm in a dilemma.
Hopefully the school will just call me and tell me that I'm accepted. Then all my problems will be solved.
I Gotta Let You Know I Think That We Are Destiny.
2:30 PM
she writes
Monday, March 28, 2005
Ta men dui wo shuo: shi jian neng chong dan yi qie.
Na shi bu shi dai biao sui zhe shi jian de liu shi, ren yu ren zhi jian de gan qing ye hui man man dan hua.
Ru guo zhen de bu shi zhe yang, wo ze me you yi zhong gan jue. Ni jian jian de li wo yue lai yue yuan.
I'm Surrounded By A Million People. I Still Feel Alone.
3:07 PM
she writes
I'm not going to school tomorrow. Really really don't feel like going.
I'm still hoping the school will call me and tell me that I'm accepted. Although I know it's just not gonna happen.
Sigh.
I really don't know how am I gonna adapt to the life in Pj.
What cca should I join?
How am I gonna make friends?
I'm worried.
I'm upset.
I'm scared.
Will You Be There To Protect Me With Your Wings. Will You Be My Angel.
2:52 PM
she writes
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Met Giel at Esplanade just now. She told me that the school called her on Friday and she got accepted. So did Atalia.
I still haven't receive any calls yet.
I know.
I probably don't stand a chance anymore.
I'm probably never gonna be able to go back to Sa anymore.
I know.
No one understands. Not even you.
Ye Xu Ni Bu Hui Dong. Chong Ni Shou Ai Wo Yi Hou. Wo De Tian Kong. Xin Xin Dou Liang Le.
3:05 PM
she writes
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Things I wanna get..
ipod
slipper
adidas sweater
bag
three-quarter pants
surf shorts
bikini
digital camera
laptop
3:17 PM
she writes
Friday, March 25, 2005
Mummy's still not home yet. And daddy's standing outside the door waiting for her to come back. Daddy's such a sweet guy!
Jian Dan De Kuai Le. Ye Shi Yi Zhong Xing Fu.
3:45 PM
she writes
Today's my second day at Pjc. Didn't really wanna go today. But since I was supposed to have training at 6, I thought that it was no harm going since I can head down to Kallang with Siying after school. But guess what! Yingzhen called me to say that we don't have a training today! So upset! I was looking forward to training! Looking forward to see everyone! And then. Sigh.
But it wasn't such a bad day in school either.
Just like yesterday, we had talks all the way from 8 to 12. But today's talk wasn't as boring as yesterday because Xiao Xian sat with me through all the talks! Haha! She pretended to be my OGL and sat beside me. We talked and talked and talked!
"Thanx Xiao Xian! If not I bet I would have been damn bored. *hugs*"After the talks we had lunch break. But I didn't feel hungry. So I didn't eat anything. It's weird. Back in Sa, I always feel hungry during every single breaks. But in Pjc, I just don't have the appetite to eat anything despite having a long day without food.
Ice-breaking games were after lunch. We played a name game then this game called "Elope". During the last round. I was like stoning down there when this guy beside me named Elson suddenly pulled me and started running. Then someone shouted "stop" and obviously Elson stopped. Still in a rather blur state, I couldn't stop in time. And everything happened so fast. I didn't know if I tripped over my own leg or Elson's leg. But anyway. I sprained my leg and I couldn't continue running. So we were the last couple and we had to do a forfeit. But I don't know what's wrong with me. Suddenly the images in front of me were like all blurred and I felt really dizzy. So I quickly sat down on the floor and the OGL asked me to go sit at the side to rest. Poor Elson. He had to do the forfeit himself. Feel so super guilty. It's like I was the one who caused us to become the last couple. But in the end he was the one who got "punished".
"So sorry!"We went back to the hall and learnt several orientation songs. Ice-kacang is a really cute song! Haha! Shao Wei and Edison were in the band playing the songs! So cool right! Shao Wei was playing the drums and Edison the guitar! After the songs, we learnt a bit of the mass dance and the fun dance. They were rather simple. And I had Shao Wei as my dance partner! Haha!
Although today was a rather okay day for me. But I still cannot adapt to the life in Pjc. I didn't really talk to anyone OG. I was behaving like the kinda people that I hated during an orientation. The kinda people that refused to talk to anyone or mix around. That kind who always go looking for always like to stick to their own clan. But I really can't help it. I really like it much much better in Sa. I really really wanna go back. But till now. They haven't called me yet. I'm worried. Really really worried. What if my appeal isn't successful? I really don't dare to think about it. Sigh.
After school, I went to Jurong Point to wait for meet Tepang. We ate dinner at Long John then he brought me to see a chinese doctor for my leg. The doctor got it bandaged up for. Hopefully it'll recover in a day or two. It's so tiring not to be able to walk properly. Tepang insisted that we take a cab back home even when the bus stop was so near. He didn't want me to walk around too much. So sweet right! Haha!
"Dear dear! Thanx a lot! Although you haven't been treating me as good as before we got together. Haha! =X But still, I must really thank you for being such a great boyfriend! (*^-^*)"Whenever You Are Tonight. I'll See You In My Dreams. Whenever I Go Tomorrow. You're Be Here Next To Me.
2:29 PM
she writes
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Went to Pjc today. It's not as if I had a choice. Nothing much happened today. Sat in the hall from like 7 plus all the way until 11 listening to boring talks until my butt and legs all went numb. And as usual, I fell asleep. Haha! Nothing suprising.
Saw a lot of familiar faces there. Doreen, Shi Han, Suxian, Edison, Wen Hao, Yong Hwee, Joel, Shao wei ( and he's my ogl! ) and so many so many more. I even saw many of many primary school friends. Docras, Wei Teng, Alana, Yurong, Le Min, Rachel and others that I've forgotten their names.
Tomorrow's gonna be a long day. Until 4. But fortunately I'm having training at 6 at Kallang. Hopefully time will past faster with something to look forward to. Can't wait for training! Can't wait to see everyone again!
I miss Sa! I miss the food there! I miss the people there! I miss the air-con hall! I really really wanna go back to Sa!
Hopefully my appeal is sucessful. Please! Let it be sucessful. Tell me it's sucessful.
Everytime You Go Away. My Heart Goes With You.
2:56 PM
she writes
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
I got posted to Pjc.
Sigh.
I appealled. But I think the chances are really slim. The seniors were telling me that the school will usually give the places to the cca(s) which performs better first. Which in another words, means basketball and volleyball. Then to the other cca(s). To make things worse, there are 5 netballers appealling. So I guess if there're limited places, the school will definitely give it to the better players. Which is definitely not me. I'm not even chosen to play for the Nationals.
I'm handling this situation worse than I expected.
I'm much more upset than I thought I'll be.
But no matter what. I'm still hoping for the very best. Hopefully there'll be a lot of people transfering outta Sa. Hopefully they'll call me tomorrow and tell me that my appeal is sucessful.
Hopefully.
If Only Wishes Would Be Dreams And All My Dreams Could Come True.
1:01 PM
she writes
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
I cut my hair! Yah! Can you believe! I actually really wenta cut my hair! It's like so freaking short compared to my previous length! I feel like regretting! Haha!
Must really thanx Sheryl for being so patient. She was like accompanying around town to look for a salon that looks trustable and offers a reasonable price although she needa go off to look for Desmond.
"Thanx a lot bimbo!" *hugs*I don't hafta go to school tomorrow. Cause postings results will be out tomorrow. Gosh! I'm so freaking worried. What if I cannot stay in SA? Should I appeal? What if I cannot even get through the appeal? People around me are making me feel even worse. Joe told me that she couldn't get in with 12-2 points. Maylene and Atalie told me that the system is very strict. 9 points means 9 ponts. Sigh. I gotta very bad feeling about this. Wish me good luck and pray for me guys.
Life's Too Short To Know The Truth
1:40 PM
she writes
Monday, March 21, 2005
I've decided to cut my hair. Though I haven't cut it yet. Haha! Guess I'll doing this weekend. Hopefully I won't change my mind by then.
School's starting tomorrow. Although not officially. But it'll be officially starting on Wednesday. Gosh. I totally don't have the kinda mood to go to school. Have been slacking for so long. Sleeping late. Waking up late. Spending my time playing with Grant, going out the entire day, or simply just slacking at home with Tepang.
But from tomorrow onwards, I'll have to wake up at 5:30 every morning and only return home late in the evening. Sigh. I really dread to return to this kinda life.
I wanna have holiday forever!I Always Say I'll Never Cry Over You. But It's Hard To Hold Back Tears When Your Fears Come True.
2:30 PM
she writes
Sunday, March 20, 2005
I think I needa haircut. My hair is like. So long.
But it's precisely it's so long, that's why I don't feel like cutting it. I've been like keeping my hair for so long.
I know. I'm being contradicting again.
For a change, maybe I should. Afterall, like what Jessica always tell me. "Tou fa shi hui zhang de."
But.
I don't know.
Any suggestions?
Shall give myself one night to think about it.
If The Feeling Is Gone
3:36 PM
she writes
You no longer love me as much as before. Am I right?
I'm sorry.
When You Are Here. Nothing Can Shatter Our World.
1:17 PM
she writes
Saturday, March 19, 2005
I heard postings results will be out on 22nd March, Tuesday, 8 a.m.
All of a sudden, I feel as though I'm smacked back to reality.
End of first 3 months. No more fooling around. No more skipping school. No more skipping lessons. No more taking of green slips. No more slacking. Down to serious mugging.
There's gonna be so much I'm going to miss.
-05A42- Although the class was made up of people from different schools, but the everyone blended with each other rather well. The bond within us was so much stronger than I've expected. In the short period of time that we shared, we went through so much. Marcel's "interactive" conversations with Daryl Lim was definitely memorable. Haha!And our record breaking attendance of only 6 pupils during Chinese New Year celebration was definitely unforgettable too. I'll definitely miss P.E. I'll definitely miss the class.
-406- Although everyone went our own separate ways after the O's. But we still met up for gatherings. Now that school is officially starting for everyone, we'll all be busy with our studies, cca and new friends. There'll hardly be time for us to meet up. I'll so gonna miss the class and our craziest moments. Yuzhen's flashing of her panties. Nadalala, Gennie's and Yeu Yeu geeky looks. Haha! Those were the days.
-Sheryl the bimbotic walnut- Although Sheryl and I wasn't that close when we just started off as a class, but we eventually became closer as time past. We talked a lot about our guys, and ate chicken porridge together. Now that we're probably gonna be in different class, maybe even different schools, I'm definitely gonna miss her. Her ice cold look. Her walnut shaped face. Her bimbotic actions. Haha!
-Xiao Xian- This cute, lovely and adorable little lady sat beside me for the past 2 years. She's been a great partner and definitely a great friend. She cries with me when I'm upset, and laugh with me when I'm happy. I'm gonna miss her laughter, her chubby cheeks, amd her encouraging post cards.
-Tepang- Although Tepang and me have only offcially been together for 2 months, but it seems like a long long time. He's been my greatest guy pal since I've known him. Always there to shower me with his love, care and concern. Tolerating my crapiness and my bad temper. I know it's not as if we're gonna break up after posting result is out, but I know I'm still gonna miss him when school officially starts, cause we'll both be busy with our own lives. I probably wouldn't get to see his face around my house so often anymore. Neither will I have a lot of chance to just lie on my bed and slack, with him by my side.
-Jessica- She've been my bestest best pal since we were secondary one. Although we didn't hit off right from the start, but the things that we went through definitely made our friendship stronger, and brought us to where we are today. She's my mind when I can no longer think. She has always been there for me no matter what. The letters, the notes, the photos definitely made up a large part of our friendship. Our usual hangout spots, Orchard and Lot 1 left us wonderful memories. Now that we're going our separate ways, she to poly and me to jc. Hopefully our friendship continue to stay strong. Life's gonna be so different without her around. I'm so so so gonna miss her.
I dread.
I wish.
So contradicting.
When I'm Standing In The Dark. I Still Believe. Someone's Watching Over Me.
5:57 PM
she writes
I heard postings results will be out on 22nd March, Tuesday, 8 a.m.
All of a sudden, I feel as though I'm smacked back to reality.
End of first 3 months. No more fooling around. No more skipping school. No more skipping lessons. No more taking of green slips. No more slacking. Down to serious mugging.
There's gonna be so much I'm going to miss.
-05A42- Although the class was made up of people from different schools, but the everyone blended with each other rather well. The bond within us was so much stronger than I've expected. In the short period of time that we shared, we went through so much. Marcel's "interactive" conversations with Daryl Lim was definitely memorable. Haha!And our record breaking attendance of only 6 pupils during Chinese New Year celebration was definitely unforgettable too. I'll definitely miss P.E. I'll definitely miss the class.
-406- Although everyone went our own separate ways after the O's. But we still met up for gatherings. Now that school is officially starting for everyone, we'll all be busy with our studies, cca and new friends. There'll hardly be time for us to meet up. I'll so gonna miss the class and our craziest moments. Yuzhen's flashing of her panties. Nadalala, Gennie's and Yeu Yeu geeky looks. Haha! Those were the days.
-Sheryl the bimbotic walnut- Although Sheryl and I wasn't that close when we just started off as a class, but we eventually became closer as time past. We talked a lot about our guys, and ate chicken porridge together. Now that we're probably gonna be in different class, maybe even different schools, I'm definitely gonna miss her. Her ice cold look. Her walnut shaped face. Her bimbotic actions. Haha!
-Xiao Xian- This cute, lovely and adorable little lady sat beside me for the past 2 years. She's been a great partner and definitely a great friend. She cries with me when I'm upset, and laugh with me when I'm happy. I'm gonna miss her laughter, her chubby cheeks, amd her encouraging post cards.
-Tepang- Although Tepang and me have only offcially been together for 2 months, but it seems like a long long time. He's been my greatest guy pal since I've known him. Always there to shower me with his love, care and concern. Tolerating my crapiness and my bad temper. I know it's not as if we're gonna break up after posting result is out, but I know I'm still gonna miss him when school officially starts, cause we'll both be busy with our own lives. I probably wouldn't get to see his face around my house so often anymore. Neither will I have a lot of chance to just lie on my bed and slack, with him by my side.
-Jessica- She've been my bestest best pal since we were secondary one. Although we didn't hit off right from the start, but the things that we went through definitely made our friendship stronger, and brought us to where we are today. She's my mind when I can no longer think. She has always been there for me no matter what. The letters, the notes, the photos definitely made up a large part of our friendship. Our usual hangout spots, Orchard and Lot 1 left us wonderful memories. Now that we're going our separate ways, she to poly and me to jc. Hopefully our friendship continue to stay strong. Life's gonna be so different without her around. I'm so so so gonna miss her.
I dread.
I wish.
So contradicting.
When I'm Standing In The Dark I Still Believe. Someone's Watching Over Me.
5:57 PM
she writes
I feel so cheated.
And this is why..
Yongcheng, my "brother" told me that he can help me get an ipod at a price of less than $500. He helped me check out with his friend, and his friend told him that he can sell me at a price of $480. It was quite a good bargain, cause I've been checking out the price outside and they're all selling at a price of around $550. So for the past week, I've been waiting for Yongcheng to contact me cause he has to wait for his friend to pass him the ipod before he can pass it to me. But guess what, he just messaged me to tell me that his friend say now he's selling the ipod at the same price as all the other place are selling. Which means, $550.
I've been like so excited about the whole thing, and now. Argh! I don't blame Yongcheng about it. He was just the middle man and it was already very nice of him to do me this favour. But I'm really pissed off at his bastard friend. Argh!
Yongcheng sorta pesuaded me to go check out the Creative sale. He said that they're selling Zen for $60 each if you get 2 of them. But I really really don't wanna get Zen. Neither do I wanna go squeeze with the others. The sale is bound to be super crowded. If you think that I'm just so persistant on getting an ipod because it's in style. Yah. So what if it's true? I simply like ipod better than Zen. I just think that ipod are prettier than Zen. So what?
I'm going to Sim Lim to check out the price of the ipod tomorrow.
It Hurts To Know That You're In Love Again
3:06 PM
she writes
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Met Jessica, Wen Hao and Yong Hwee at town today. We watched Robots. It's a super funny show! Hahax! Worth watching! After the movie, we simply just walked around town. Then we met Tepang, ate dinner, and walked around Taka. When we were in Kino bookstore, we saw this storybook in the children section talking about a sperm name Willy. The book is super super lame! Hahax! I really don't understand why such book will be found under the children section. Is this what they consider as early sex education for the kids? Hahax! And I really don't understand why they must name the sperm Willy of all the names. They're misleading the kids! They'll probably grow up thinking that all the sperms are name Willy! Okay. I'm making no sense. Whatever!
Having training and a friendly match at Kallang tomorrow. Hope I'll get to play. But I know I'm asking for too much. Sigh. Shall just wish that I'll be able to focus and concentrate tomorrow.
All I Know Is You're Not Here To Say. What You Always Used To Say. But It's Written In The Sky Tonight.
3:40 PM
she writes
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Haven't seriously sat down and wrote a post for a long long time. But now, I'm sitting here in front of my computer, seriously wanting to write something. But I simply don't know what I should write.
I've been thinking and feeling a lot lately. To the extent it's sorta driving me crazy.
I wish I could share everything with someone. But I'm never comfortable at serious coversations. And now, words don't work for me as well. I can't seems to put my thoughts and feelings in words anymore.
I'm such a loser.
Without A Voice. I'm Crying For Help.
5:09 PM
she writes
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I wish somebody will understand..
These feelings which are beyond words..
Send Me An Angel From Above
3:28 PM
she writes
Friday, March 04, 2005
I'm at Jessica's house! I'm staying over! So cool right! Hahax! I'm here to do the JAE application.. Cause my computer crashed..
Mummy's sending my computer for repair! My old neighbour is reapiring it! Hope they can completely "cure" my computer! Hahax!
I suddenly thought of the example that Bi Wen's boyfriend gave her.. He plaed 3 remote controls on her palm.. And told her that one represents her cca.. One represents her studies.. The other represents her social life.. Which includes him.. And she just can't seems to hold all the 3 remote controls in her hands.. One of them is bound to drop.. So he told her.. It's just like her life.. She can never have all the 3 things.. Cause when she try to possess all 3.. She'll bound to lose something..
Is this really true?
Maybe I should just give up..
Wo Gei Ni Zui Hou De Teng Ai Shi Shou Fang Kai
3:42 PM
she writes