Friday, November 30, 2007
tears;only flows when no one is around.
fear;
just keeps haunting me.
these two days have been a nightmare.
i really wish i can wake up from it now.
may this anniversary be as happy as the last.
please.
"i wish you knew how i'm feeling.
i wish you cared."
:[
"you know i'll never wanna lose you.
ever again."
What Hurts The Most.
4:53 PM
she writes
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
first thing first.to rachel, michelle and alicia-
"thanks a million for helping me out in the office the other day! although it's something that happened quite some time back. but i still think i owe you guys this big thank you. cause i would prolly have died inside the office without the help from you girls. THANK YOU! totally love you girls to bits! no worries. i won't be so dumb anymore. :]"
to joanne-
"thanks for preparing the chocolate for me when you know that i prolly won't have the time to eat dinner! you're always so so sweet! love ya! :]"
i'm giving up modelling.
i guess i'm just not cut out for it.
no matter how much i try;
no matter how much i practise;
no matter how much i tell myself i can do it;
no matter how much confidence i have;
things just ain't turning out the way it's supposed to be.
am i really defeated by a photographer?
or defeated by my own fat face?
i seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
i'm feeling so so tired.
yet i just can't seems to be able to fall asleep.
and when i eventually managed to fall asleep after i don't know how long;
i'll start having bad dreams.
i could hear myself crying and screaming in my sleep.
it's making me so afraid to sleep.
this is killing me physically and mentally!
"i really wish you'll visit my blog often.
this way you'll be able to know what's going on in my life and understand how i'm feeling without having me to tell you.
it's not that i'm unwilling to share it with you.
but you just don't seems to have the time to listen.
you're always busy with classes or projects in the day.
and when i try to call you at night;
you'll either be gaming, too tired to talk to me, or simply just can't talk to me at all.
do you know how much i yearn for a little more of your care, concern, love and attention?
do you know how hurtful your words are sometimes?
do you know how much i'm trying, changing and giving in just for you?
do you?
do you?
do you?"
everything just seems to be going downhill for me.
"and where at you at this point of time?"
The Truth Is A Stranger.
7:27 PM
she writes
Friday, November 09, 2007
went to zouk instead of plush last night.all because of the picky MLBF!
the queue was totally exaggerating when we got there.
it was all the way until the valet carpark!
and to say we reach at 945pm.
plus both ladies and men had to pay because it was eve of public holiday.
:\
saw quite a lot of familiar faces there.
lynn, sean, guo xin, 2 michelles, alvin, kenton and mr kelvin ang.
was almost 11pm when we finally managed to get in.
phuture was like full house even before our turn came.
if not for amanda (MLBF's friend) who brought us to cut queue;
we prolly wouldn't have been able to get in at all.
only managed to settle down inside phuture at 11 plus after the big commotion of trying to get heler and amanda's friends to cut into levonne's queue at velvet underground due to phuture being full house.
was immediately "fed" with long island tea by MLBF the moment we got into phuture.
omg!
it's like so super strong!
it's seriously the only drink that you'll need to get high in zouk.
the dance floor was like fringgin crowded.
danced a little before going down to the smoking area to look for levonne and benny.
started playing 5 10 there.
punishment was another 2 jugs of long island tea that levonne bought.
omg!
joanna came!
she still decided to abandon her assignments at home and join us!
love her to bits!
drank so much that i puke before i managed to reach the toilet.
again!
this is like the second time i'm in zouk.
and i puke before i could even reach the toilet on both occassions!
so embarassing can?!
i've never puke when i go clubbing in any other clubs before!
zouk is seriously my curse!
levonne and benny exchanged our coupons for another 3 jugs of whisky dry so that we could continue the game after the 2 jugs of long island tea were gone.
knew i couldn't drink anymore.
so went to the dance floor with joanna instead.
joanna was like super high!
she keep wanting to get more drinks!
haha!
poor heler had a hard time protecting the 2 of us all by himself.
levonne, benny and my MLBF soon joined us at the dance floor.
MLBF was like super drank!
i guess they prolly downed like 1 jug of whisky dry each.
he couldn't even stand anymore!
and even collasped on the dance floor!
i only managed to get him up on his feet again with the help of benny, levonne and some other guys that was dancing around.
haha!
gosh!
the nightmare didn't just end here.
we literally had to drag MLBF through the crowd and outta the club.
there were like random guys here and there helping me to support him.
one guy even told me to take good care of him.
so super nice of them!
:]
decided to head home once we got outta the club.
cause MLBF was seriously too drank and joanna too high.
haha!
it's actually quite a sight to see MLBF squatting at the road side puking.
while joanna sitting there talking really loudly.
haha!
though i didn't dance enough.
but i still had a lotta fun!
:]
so to heler, levonne, joanna, benny and MLBF-
"thanks a lot for joining me! :] i had so much so much fun! hope you guys had as much fun too! let's do this more often! haha!"
my holidays has officially started.
time to work real hard and save money for my taiwan trip.
my up-coming event!
do come down and support me if you're free!
:]
Means So Much To Me.
2:11 PM
she writes
Thursday, November 08, 2007
clubbing trip ruined.kinda.
:[
from the orignial big group.
we're down to like levonne, benny, heler, MLBF and me.
pathetic.
i'll be lying if i said i'm not pissed.
i was like super looking forward to it!
and this is not the first time i tried to organise outings;
and fail so terribly.
it's either i don't get any replies from people;
which really irritates me a lot.
or they make it sound really promising;
and then have something that cropped up last minute.
all these doesn't seems to happen when someone else organises.
but it always happens to me.
:\
not organising anymore!
i'm not blaming anyone in particular.
maybe just blaming everyone.
haa.
but i really feel that i ought to apologise to joanne.
she was the one who "broke the news" to me.
and as a result had to suffer my harsh attacks.
or i should say cold attacks.
so to joanne the 1/3 of a pie-
"really sorry for the lousy attitude of mine last night. jia you for ya assignments alright? hugs!"
enough said.
i believe i'm gonna enjoy myself just as much tonight.
Crying Out For Me.
10:10 AM
she writes
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY SIS!love you loads!
:]
4:00 PM
she writes
the same two monsters who sent me screaming;
never fails to put a smile or my face and make my day.
:]
Couldn't Ask For More.
9:13 AM
she writes
Sunday, November 04, 2007
game plan is so so good!hilarious and touching at the same time!
you guys seriously gotta catch this one!
subaru challeng starts today.
if you haven't pop by ngee ann city to take a look.
this is how it is when you have about 400 people putting their hands on 6 cars.
if it wasn't for exams;
i would have been one of them standing there.
:[
was a little rude to mummy at grandma house earlier on.
guilty.
:\
but i was feeling fringgin irritated.
seriously had enough of my competitive aunties and uncles!
they are always dying to show off their kids!
how discipline or knowlegeable they are
or how well they can sing or perform.
*roll eyes*
not only that.
this is what happens when i see them.
everytime!
without fail!
the competitive aunties and uncles:
"how's smu?"
me:
"i'm in sim."
the competitive aunties and uncles:
"why sim?! why you don't wanna go to ntu, nus or smu?! these universities better what! my boss's son is taking chemistry in nus you know! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!"
there are countless times that i really wish to tell them straight in their face.
"i wished i was in either nus, ntu or smu too!
but too bad my grades are just too fucking lousy!
and so what if i'm in sim?!
do you have a fucking problem with that?!"
*rrraaaawwwrrr*
i'm supposed to plan the clubbing trip coming wednesday.
but i have yet to decide which club we should head to yet.
:\
gary mentioned that there's this new club opened at central mall;
plush.
and he heard it's prettay happening there.
surfed the net for some information.
it's free entry on wednesday for ladies.
and cover charge at $10 for the guys.
so most prolly will be settling for there.
hopefully they play good music.
:]
zouk out is just around the corner!
either the first or second week of december.
if i'm not wrong.
after missing it for so many years.
i'm definitely not gonna miss it this year!
:]
my next modelling assignment coming up on 17 november - saturday.
bikini show again.
:\
will update when i get more details.
so come support me if you're free!
:]
to MLBF-
"thanks a lot for the cute organiser! love it! :]
Shine.
2:19 PM
she writes
Friday, November 02, 2007
HAPPY 22 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY!dinner at new york new york!
buffalo wings, pepperoni pizza, spaghetti alio olio with bacon and mushroom, oreo chocolate milkshake and chocolate ice-cream with waffles!
sinful!
but super duper yummy!
:]
after dinner programme: movies!
watched stardust.
the typical fairytale and magical stuff.
but not too bad afterall.
:]
good movie!
great food!
with fantastic company!
makes a happy pui pui!
:]
"thanks baby! loves!"
so many more movies i wanna catch!
- bee movie
- enchanted
- the golden compass
- mr magorium's wonder emporium
catching game plan with coke, nana and MLBF tomorrow!
:]
"the sweetest;
lies neither in gifts or roses.
but in your words.
"my star." you said.
and i'll shine for you."
The Sweetest.
2:34 PM
she writes
