Tuesday, February 28, 2006
i'm so freaking nervous!i'm having chemistry spa tomorrow! again! :\ i have a history of screwing up practical exams since secondary school! don't wanna come out of the lab in tears again! :(
"jia you my dear girl! no worries. i'm sure you can do it this time round! have some confidence in yourself! :) hugs."
pray for me!
I'm Not A Perfect Person.
1:27 PM
she writes
Monday, February 27, 2006
:'(Unforgettable. That's What You Are.
3:14 PM
she writes
Sunday, February 26, 2006
i can feel the asthma coming up. :(feel so freaking unwell. :(
i don't wanna feel this way.
but at the same time, i don't wanna recover either.
i never seems to know what do exactly i want.
indecisive.
like always.
I Look Into His Eyes But Then I Say Your Name Instead.
6:26 PM
she writes
feel so left out. :(
didn't wanna go to micheal's chalet in the first place because douglas said he most probably wouldn't be going cause he need to study for his paper on monday. didn't wanna be there without him and at the same time, i don't want him to have the left out feeling that i'm experiencing now cause everyone else is out there having fun and he's stuck at home. so i made up a dumb excuse and told micheal that i'm having papers at the end of this month so i needa stay home to study. but guess what?! the one who's having paper on monday is down at the chalet having fun. and the one who's having papers only in march is stuck at home studying. :( how i wish i could be there as well. :(
oh well. what can i say? who knows it might all be a blessing in disguise? maybe because i sacrifice the time for play tonight on studying, i might actually really do better in my common tests! well. let's just all keep our fingers crossed. :)
happy nerding to myself! :)
In The Silence I Can Hear Him Say.
1:33 PM
she writes
Saturday, February 25, 2006
feel kinda moody outta a sudden. :( i think my mood really flactuates like the weather. :/i feel like talking to jessica. it's been ages since we really talk. as in really really talk. there's so much things i wanna tell her. but i know she's so busy preparing for her papers. so i don't think it's very nice to bother her. hopefully we'll have some time to really really catch up with one another.
i wanna be able to lean on my pillar of support again. but when i turn around. i realise it's no longer there. i seriously don't know where it went. and i doubt it'll ever ever come back. i tried my best to get it back. but i realise the harder i try, the further away it went from me. i really wanna feel safe like i used to knowing that it'll always be there behind me to support me. but there's only the helpless and lost me left now that it has completely withdrawn outta my life.
"where are you?"
random thoughts.
But I Just Have To Let You Go.
2:34 PM
she writes
Thursday, February 23, 2006
a sudden thought i had during econs tutorial today; we really ought to be glad that we're blessed to be more normal than some other people around us. and what makes me have this sudden thought? there's this guy in my econs class. shan't name him cause i don't think that's very nice. hmmm. i shouldn't say he's abnormal. that will be very mean. maybe i should just say that he seems to be facing some "unknown" problems. he just can't seems to speak clearly and loudly. no matter how many times you get him to repeat himself. you just can't decipher what he's talking about even if you're sitting directly behind him. not only that. he can't seems to understand simple explainations. even if u guide him step by step, he just can't seems to arrive at the answer and understand the logic behind it. and he always seems damn stressed out during econs. i don't know if it's because of mdm khoo. she seems to be picking on him all the time. making some rather crude comments and stuff. maybe she don't mean to be mean. maybe she's trying to spite him and make him 'open up' more. but i can see that she's really exerting a lot of pressure on him. put yourself in his shoes. poor guy. :( i should stop laughing at him. it's so evil if you were to really think back.training was great today! never ever enjoyed training so much! :) we started training by running all the way from school to bp then from bp all the way back to lot 1. it's almost 4km. but i seriously don't feel tired at all. felt really good instead. probably it's because i haven't been running for a long long time. and everything feels so familiar when we were running around bp. it feels exactly as though i'm doing my 2.4km run back in secondary school. and all the lovely memories back then starts flooding back. :) i really miss those time! and the last reason that made the run really great is that it really makes everything that's troubling me recently just disappear. i really needed that. :) guess i should go running more often. i wanna try running in a heavy rain some time. bet it'll feel damn good. :)
stopped by the sweet talk at lot 1 after our run. got some drinks and went back to school to meet mdm ang for some contact time. i seriously felt that it's a waste of our training time. could have done so much more stuff. did some ball handlings, drills and then court work. more or less of the usual stuff. i personally felt that i performed quite alright today. :) still not really up to standard. but at least it's so much better than the last training. shall put in more effort to improve more during every training. then i guess i'll be ready by nationals. :)
we experienced some issues after training today. shouldn't go into detail about it since it's already over. but i'm seriously quite glad it happened. i guess it made every of us have a better idea what the others are thinking. :) gave us a better chance to understand each other. i seriously feel that we're more like a team now. :) i'm starting to love my team! i'm starting to love training as well! hopefully this will motivate me to go for every training. :)
i feel as though i'm circulating porn in school today. haha! only some people will know what i mean. haha! evil me!
i'm a happy girl today! :) haven't been feeling this way for a long long time. :)
Happy 18th Birthday Xiao Xian!
"you're officially legal to club, smoke, drink and watch m18 movies! haha. but i bet they'll still ask to check ya ic! haha. opps. oh yah. and i think you should seriously thank me for starting you off your first 'm18 movie' today. :x wahahahahahha! you're so gonna kill me. anyway. i still hope you enjoyed ya day today! i bet you did. with the little surprise in the morning, the cake ya class bought and the afternoon out with the basketballers. especially when there's CASSIE around. haha! may all ya wishes and dreams come true! enjoy being 18!"
it's gonna be a super long day for me if i were to go to school tomorrow. school only ends at 5 and there's pe! gotta face mr loke again. :( dread! can't wait for the napfa test on march 4. shall get my gold and slam it in front of his idiot face. then i can officially stop going for his pe lessons. haha! just can't wait for that day to come. there's still starteam training at 7. all the way until 10. :( will only get to reach home at 11. :( and that's if i'm lucky. :( but something that brightens me up a little is that we'll be touching on wines tomorrow. sounds interesting. and there'll be wine tasting as well. yummy! haha! but maybe i wouldn't even be going to school tomorrow. anyway i'm seriously not feeling too well. shall see how it all goes. pray that i'll feel damn sick tomorrow morning so that i can pig at home. haha!
http://cartoon.0451.net/flash/ShowFlash.asp?Id=6772
watch this if you have the time. it's a kinda typical flash about love. but i still feel like crying while watching it. haha. but it's the emotional me you're talking about here. hmmm. but like the female lead in the flash, i'll choose to live alone my next life. cause i seriously realise no guy is worth sharing my life with. :)
guys are seriously weird. when you really really want them, they just keep moving away from you. but when you've decided to stop wanting them, they'll start getting you to want them back. what exactly do you they want? they just seems to enjoy that kinda attention that's all. bastards!
common test's coming up! gotta start nerding. haha. i love that word! nerding!
i think i'm crazy!
must be the porn i watched today that's affecting me haha!
can't believe i'm saying this!
think i'm really crazy! haha!
at least it's the kinda happy craziness! haha!
and not the cranky kinda craziness! haha!
but whatever it is.
i still ...
love the word nerding!
oh my gosh!
no link at all!
i'm seriously mad!
hahahahahaha!
but this only occurs once in a blue moon right?
or so i say? haha!
madness!
wordy post!
I Keep Dreaming. That You'll Be With Me.
2:04 PM
she writes
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
"i know i no longer mean anything to you.how i wish i could forget everything like you already have.
how i wish i never dreamt of you that night.
how i wish those memories would stop coming back to me.
tell me you don't love me anymore will you?
i just wanna forget you.
i just wanna forget those times.
i just wanna pick myself up again.
i just wanna continue going straight.
and never ever never ever turn back."
Stained With Tears. Broken And Scarred.
11:01 AM
she writes
Friday, February 17, 2006
you gotta be understanding.you gotta be strong.
you gotta be understanding.
you gotta be strong.
you gotta be understanding.
you gotta be strong.
but i just can't seems to. :(
i'm really tired.
really really tired.
tired of trying so hard.
tired of life.
i just wish i could give everything up.
everything.
"you're starting to make me feel the same way he used to make me feel. and this definitely isn't the way i wanna feel. this feeling definitely don't feel good. :("
Hear My Heart That's Barely Breathing.
7:52 AM
she writes
Thursday, February 09, 2006
helpless. :("i'm so sorry. :("
They Say. Our Love Vanish Like Bubbles.
10:55 AM
she writes
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
i'm feeling even worse.even more sick.
even more pms-sy.
even more upset.
plus heartache.
:(
"i wish there was an understanding beyond words between the 2 of us."
something new that i learnt today:
taking photos of yourself do make you happier.
haha.
i'm such a narcissist!
What Is It's Like To Know You.
1:16 PM
she writes
so sick.
so pms-sy.
so upset.
:(
"where are you when i need you most?"
You Can't Tell Me You Don't Need Me. I Know That Hurts.
11:48 AM
she writes
Thursday, February 02, 2006
happy 1st month my boy! :)"love ya loads! muacks!"
I Know What's Beautiful. Looking At You.
12:00 PM
she writes
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
compare his hair then and now! haha. what a big difference! =X
3:32 PM
she writes
puffy faces! haha.
3:30 PM
she writes
evil!
3:29 PM
she writes
kuku face!
3:28 PM
she writes
:)
3:27 PM
she writes
funny hair! =X he's so gonna kill me. haha.
3:26 PM
she writes
today's the last day of chinese new year holiday! so damn sad! i really don't want the holidays to end! i'm like so not ready to go back to school yet. i haven't done any of my tutorials or assignments! and i haven't prepare for tomorrow's economics test as well! so i guess i'll most probably be pon-ning school tomorrow. again! it's like only 1 month since school started. and i've already ponned so many times. hai. how am i gonna survive my A's with this kinda attitude?! ahhhhh! somebody help! i seriously need to buck up! i seriously need a motivation to go to school! hai. :(
forget about all the unhappy stuff. shall worry about them again. soon. shall talk about the happy stuff instead. :) went town with douglas today. :) we had our lunch at burger king. after that we walked around and got our tickets for the movie The Long Weekend at lido. then we went over to heeren and we took pictures! can't believe it was douglas who actually initiated it! so damn surprised! haha. will be posting up the pictures which we took today and the one we took a month ago. :) after the pictures we went back over to lido for the movie. the show was okay. funny. but kinda short. ate teppanyaki at wisma for dinner. yummy! haha. then we headed home. :) had a wonderful time! :)
daddy went china this morning. will only be coming back on sunday. hope he have a great time there. and come back soon. cause i'm missing him already. haha. :)
And I Know That He Won't Break My Heart.
3:16 PM
she writes
